


What I Want Most

by Chrystie, kate882



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, F/M, Jaydick is the main pairing, M/M, if DC doesn't have to know we don't either, the one where your soulmate's goal is written on your wrist, the other's are background, wtf is a cannon time line?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-10 09:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrystie/pseuds/Chrystie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: He pulled out his grappling hook, deciding it was getting to be time to bail. “Look man, you got the short end of the stick on this soulmates thing. And I'm sorry about that. A few years ago I might have been excited about this. Now? I'm not letting it get in my way.”“Wait,” Dick said before he could swing away, “even if I don't like what you're doing, I'm glad you're back. I'm…” and he looked like he was struggling for words, “I'm glad you managed to survive in some way.”Jason frowned, not sure how to answer that. “See if you still think that when everything is finished,” is what he came up with before leaving.





	1. Chapter 1

When Jason was old enough to understand soulmarks and got his mom to read his to him he couldn’t say he was impressed.

“Your soulmate wants to fly. How sweet. I hope they can. The sky is so nice today, perfect for a flight,” she said, smiling wistfully out the window where it was pouring rain. She had that glassy look in her eyes that Jason was getting more and more used to seeing in them lately, but he looked at his wrist instead.

“They want to fly?” He frowned a bit. His soulmate’s goal didn’t make sense.

“That’s what it says. Fly.” She hugged Jason close and carded her fingers through his hair.

“They’re weird,” Jason muttered to himself.

“Well what do you want most, Jason? What do you think is written on your soulmate?”

Jason thought about it. He didn’t really want anything in particular at the moment. He was hungry, but he was used to that. He wanted his mom to be safe, but she’d cried the last time he told her that. “I don’t know,” he finally decided.

His mom didn’t answer him, still staring distantly out the window. “What a lovely day for a flight,” she murmured.

* * *

Dick was pretty concerned about his soulmate. His goal was constantly alternating between ‘run’ ‘survive’ and ‘help her’. And at nine years old Dick wasn’t really sure what to make of that. Neither were his parents

“Are they okay?” Dick asked them on several occasions, worry furrowing his brow as he’d looked down at his wrist.

“If they weren’t you wouldn’t have any words at all. As long as they can still have goals they can still be okay,” his mother assured him, and his father put a steadying hand on his shoulder.

“But...I don’t just mean alive. I mean are they okay?”

His parents exchanged a look over his head that they thought he couldn’t see. Concern, pity, resolve. “I’m sure they’re fine, sweetheart. Or that if they aren’t that they will be,” his mother settled on. “After all, they’ve got the best soulmate in the world waiting for them.”

“C’mon, Dick. We have a show. That always cheers you up,” his father added, steering him towards the tent.

And for a little while Dick had to push worry for his soulmate out of his head because his entire life fell apart before his eyes that night as he watched his parents fall.

* * *

“Av-avenge them?” Jason sounded the words out loud, eyebrows drawn together in concentration as he tried to turn the letters into words that made sense on his own. His mom wasn’t around after all, and even if she was she was probably too out of it to help him anyway. She always seemed to be at this point.

“What does that mean?” He mumbled to himself.

A loud banging on the door startled him out of his thoughts.

“We know you’re in there, bitch! You owe us some money!” A man shouted through the door. The banging took on the distinct sound of someone’s boot hitting the door.

Jason scrambled to his feet and ran to the window, pushing it open enough for him to fit through and leaving like his mom had told him to do if any strange men came knocking on the door.

He did later learn what avenging meant, and frankly he figured that if someone pissed off his soulmate who’d had their head in the clouds for so long enough for that to become their goal the son of a bitch probably deserved whatever avenging came their way.

It took a while, but the words eventually changed to just one. ‘Justice’.

Jason tilted his head as he read it, taking another bite from the apple he’d stolen. “What’s the difference?” He shrugged it off. He didn’t have time for that. He had to get the rest of the stolen food back to his mom.

* * *

When Dick’s words changed to something different it caught him completely off guard. ‘Fix the city’ was a noble goal, and Dick wondered what had happened to change things for his soulmate. Maybe they were going to become a police officer like Dick was currently thinking about doing. Maybe that’s how they would meet.

He didn’t even hear about the new Robin until over a month later, and didn’t meet him for another two months.

The kid didn't appear too impressed with him if the scoff he gave when Dick introduced himself was anything to go by.

“Jason,” Bruce said sharply.

“What?” Jason shot back.

And then Alfred gave him a _look_ and Jason grumbled out a “nice to meet you, I guess,” at him while glaring at the floor.

“Well aren't you a ray of sunshine,” Dick said dryly, “he clearly takes after me well.”

“I'm not trying to take after you. I'm going to be a better Robin than you,” Jason declared, looking up at him challengingly.

“Jason, can you try to behave? You two haven't even left for patrol yet, and you're already trying to pick a fight,” Bruce was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You can _try_ ,” Dick countered, ignoring Bruce.

Jason folded his arms over his chest and stood as tall as he could. “I will. I'm going to be better than you, and then I'm going to be better than Batman. And I'm going to fix Gotham while you do whatever it is you do in Bludhaven.”

Dick probably should’ve been able to put it together then, at the very least have a small inkling of suspicion, but he didn’t, he was too distracted in the face of his replacement. “Well, let’s see if you can keep up then.” And with that Dick raced off on his bike and out of the cave.

“Well that went well,” he could hear Alfred sarcastically tell Bruce as he was leaving and the new Robin chased after him.

* * *

Dick and Bruce still weren't on great terms, so he didn't really see Jason much. Every now and then their paths would cross and it would go about the same. Dick tried a few times to do some mentoring, but Jason didn't seem overly interested in listening to him.

That didn’t mean they never got along. In fact they bonded a lot over the one thing they agreed on the most: Bruce could get insufferable. It was how, on more than one occasion, Dick would get Jason strolling into his apartment with a backpack full of his stuff and an announcement that he’d be staying for awhile. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to call ahead to let me know,” he said as Jason did this yet again.

Jason looked at him like he was stupid. “You honestly think B doesn't have the phone he gave me bugged? I ditched it on the way here,” he said as he dropped his bag onto Dick’s couch and then flopped down next to it.

“He’ll figure out you’re here anyway, at least a call would give me time to buy more food.” Or any food. His kitchen was not the most well stocked.

“He’ll figure it out, but I'm not going to be the one to give him the information,” Jason grumbled.

“Well since you’re here, how about you help me get some groceries. I was just about to go.” He absolutely was not.

“Can we just order pizza?” Jason asked. And Jason never missed an opportunity to rub it in that he could cook and Dick couldn't, because he loved having anything he was better at than Dick, so clearly he was more upset than usual.

Dick frowned and nodded. “Alright, and after that, you can complain all you want about Bruce.”

Jason didn't comment on the last part of what Dick said, instead turning on the tv and started to go through channels. “I'll take whatever you have on your pizza, I'm not really picky about it.”

Dick had a feeling Jason would regret that decision but that didn’t stop Dick from still making his pizza a mess of over indulgence.

“You are a human garbage disposal,” Jason declared when the pizza got there and he took a look at it. He still picked up a slice and started eating though.

“What? It’s good,” Dick said through a mouthful. Whenever he wanted to treat himself he got every kind of meat on his pizza with fries on top. It reminded him of circus food.

“It's a monstrosity. Who the fuck puts fries on pizza?”

“You said I could put what I want on it.”

“It's a wonder you can do anything involving physical activity.”

“I don’t get this all the time, only when I feel like treating myself.” More often he’d just have cereal or frozen dinners.

Jason rolled his eyes. “And what are you treating yourself for tonight?”

“For being more tolerable than Bruce,” Dick grinned, reaching for another slice.

“Not hard to accomplish,” Jason said, frowning and finishing off his slice.

“Seriously though,” Dick slid down onto the couch next to him, “What’d he do? No one else is going to understand your frustration as well as I would.”

“You wouldn't,” Jason told him, sounding very confident about this and slumping further into Dick’s couch.

“C’mon Little Wing,” Dick wrapped the arm that wasn’t holding pizza around Jason’s shoulders, “Who else to talk to than the guy who moved to another city to get away from Bruce?”

“Who are you calling Little Wing?” Jason asked, affronted. “I'm getting taller you know.”

“Still shorter than me, so you’re still a Little Wing.”

“Fuck off, Dickiebird,” Jason countered.

Dick thought about the nickname with a little hum, leaning his cheek on Jason’s hair. “I’ll take it. So what did Bruce do?”

“You don't know how to take a hint about someone wanting to drop a topic,” Jason informed him, struggling to get out of his grip.

“Nope,” Dick said popping the p, “c’mon Jay, I'm only trying to help. I heard it's apparently healthy to vent.”

“He benched me,” Jason relented, but the way he was clenching his fists told Dick he was only getting part of the story.

“Yeah he's done that to me too and boy did I lash out. I didn't have anywhere to run to like you do though. Are you gonna tell me why?”

“Broke too many bones in some criminals.” He rolled his eyes. “And the way he was comparing me to you when talking to Alfred about it while he thought I couldn't hear them, I wouldn't guess you'd ever done any wrong.” And now Jason’s shoulders were slumping and Dick knew he'd found what had really upset Jason and why he didn't think Dick would get it.

Dick put down his slice of pizza and hugged Jason tighter. “Of course I screwed up. Not by beating people up extra hard, but I did do some pretty stupid things, things I’m pretty sure you’d never do.”

“Well apparently Bruce doesn't remember them. You're still the golden boy no matter what I do. And now I'm benched for a whole week.”

“You know that’s not true. Bruce remembers everything. He just also likes to live in the past. I might tease you a lot about it, but you’re doing great. You’re a great Robin, Jay.”

“Yeah I know. And I'm still going to be better than you someday. And him. It doesn't mean he'll agree though.”

“He doesn’t agree with anything he can’t control or predict, which is exactly what you are. You shouldn’t let that get to you, he still thinks you’re doing great, believe me. But as great as you are, let’s not get carried away here, I’m amazing,” Dick joked, poking Jason’s cheek with his clean hand which Jason batted away.

“You're annoying is what you are. Can't believe I ever thought you might be cool,” Jason’s eyes went wide as he realized his slip while Dick’s eyes practically sparkled and wrapped his other arm around Jason to fully hug him.

“Aw Little Wing! I knew you actually liked me.”

“That's not what I said!” Jason protested.

“No, you said I’m cool, which is so much better, and it practically means the same thing.”

“I said I _thought_ you were cool. Past tense. And I used the words ‘might be’. That was way before I met you or Bruce. Now I know you're a loser, first kid superhero or not.”

“I’m your cool, older, predecessor,” Dick chuckled, pretending he hadn’t heard Jason.

“You're two years older than me, shut up.” Jason shoved at Dick to try and get him off of him.

“I think you’re real cool too, Jay.”

Jason went pink up to the tips of his ears, and did manage to get Dick off of him. “I know I am,” he muttered, taking another slice of pizza.

* * *

“The other Robin was so much more fun than this. I never was able to kill him, but you? They just don't make them like they used to.”

The words would normally hurt, but Jason could barely put together thoughts as the crowbar came down on him again. He could only register pain and the need to get away, but he couldn't move, and even as he defiantly spit blood in the Joker’s face he was aware that he was going to die. What a way to go. Beaten to death by a psycho clown. Only in Gotham.

After some time that could have been seconds or hours, he really couldn't tell and some part of him that was still working suggested brain damage was a factor, the beating finally stopped. He looked around for an escape, wasn't sure if he'd even be able to move to get to it but he'd try. And that was when he heard the ticking. And he knew he wasn’t going to make it back to Bruce.

* * *

On a completely different planet Dick saw the words on his wrist had changed again as he stripped off his gloves and the rest of his suit to go to bed. It was one he hadn't seen in years on his wrist. “Survive.” And then, it was gone. His soulmate was dead and he was stuck off planet, incapable of doing anything. He hadn’t even known them, yet he felt he’d lost a part of himself the second the word vanished.

And no one even told him about Jason for months after it happened. He didn't know how long Jason had been dead, but it was too much loss so close together, and he was livid.

He'd thought maybe he and Bruce were making progress, but all of that was gone with the realization that Jason’s death was old news.

It felt like he'd lost his soulmate, Jason, and Bruce during the months they didn't speak, all in a short amount of time.

And then, a little over a year later, one word appeared on his wrist: Revenge. And, well, he didn't know what to make of that. But it had to mean that his soulmate was at least alive. Somehow. And that at least made him feel a little less like he was losing everyone he cared about, even if the one he got back was the one he’d never even met.

* * *

As it was, it was hard to completely ignore and distance himself from Bruce, especially when their cities were so close to each other. There were times there was no choice but to go back to Gotham, and every now and then he did require Bruce’s help. He also missed Alfred which made going back a little easier. When the mantle of Robin was taken up by another kid though, he couldn’t exactly ignore him, not when he’d already lost and failed Jason. So Dick tried to be there for Tim as much as he could, even if it meant he had to see Bruce. That didn’t mean he could forgive Bruce. He didn’t think he could ever forgive him for not telling him about Jason.

The most recent reason for his visit to Gotham was purely work related. Someone who seemed to be targeting Gotham had decided to stop by Bludhaven for a quick visit. Someone Dick barely got a glance at once he noticed that he was being watched before they jumped on a bike and skipped town before Dick could chase them.

“You have any idea who our new friend is?”

“He's calling himself Red Hood,” Bruce answered, pulling up a picture of a man in a leather jacket wearing a red helmet, armed with at least four guns, but that was just what Dick could see in the picture, he was sure there was more.

“Any idea what he wants?”

“Power, by the looks of it. He's been taking out some of the top criminals in Gotham and gaining their control.” More files appeared on the computer screen. “The only thing that brings this to question is the non influential criminals he's killed.” Several pictures with bios under them popped up for Dick to look at.

“That’s a lot of rapists, murderers, and traffickers. No clue why he was in Bludhaven then? Looks like his plans only amount to Gotham.”

“Nothing that happened in Bludhaven that day matches up with his MO. If I had to guess, he was probably sizing up your threat level since he knows you help out here sometimes.” Bruce frowned at the screen. “Which might mean that he's planning something big enough that I'd have to bring you in.”

“Well I hope he's as good as he thinks he is if he thinks you and Tim wouldn't be able to handle him alone.”

* * *

Turns out the guy was actually pretty good. Dick was pretty sure Red Hood hadn't meant to be spotted again the next time he caught him watching him and the moment he did, Red Hood sprinted off. He ran away by rooftop this time, and he was surprisingly good at it. Dick would almost admit that he might be better than Tim at it.

“What are you up to?” Dick shouted as he chased him down.

He didn't get a response, instead Red Hood just started running faster, taking leaps that most would consider too dangerous like they were nothing. It was a good thing Dick wasn’t most people.

Dick took the same jumps and landed more solidly than Red Hood managed to, which gave Dick enough of an advantage to tackle and pin him to the ground. The new position only gave him the advantage for all of a moment after though since Red Hood rolled them over almost immediately so that he was pinning Dick instead, a gun in his hand pointed right at Dick’s face.

“And I thought our first meeting couldn’t get more romantic,” Dick said dryly before kicking his legs up to wrap around Red Hood’s neck and slam him back onto the ground.

“Piss off, bird brains, I haven’t done anything to your city,” Red grunted from under him, voice filtered a little through the helmet he was wearing.

“But you have been caught stalking me twice now. Any reason for that?”

“Batman runs Gotham and you come running when he needs you. Worth looking into.” He couldn’t get any reads from Red Hood’s face, but he could almost hear the grin in his voice. “I mean, the other bird was such a disappointment when I stopped by the Titans Tower today. I was surprised you were even in Bludhaven tonight.”

Dick’s legs tightened their grip around Red. “What did you do to Robin?”

“Oh, did Batman not tell his golden boy? That must sting,” Red Hood mocked. “You’ll have to go see for yourself. Which would mean letting me go.”

Dick repositioned himself quickly to better pin Red by sitting on his legs and pressing his arms down. “What did you do to him?” He practically growled.

“Check out Gotham General, I’m sure that’s where Bats took him.”

“I swear to god if you hurt him, I’ll personally hunt you down.” He'd be damned if he lost another Robin. Losing one was already hard enough.

“What’s to hunt? I’m right here. The baby bird isn’t dead though, if that’s what you think. That was the other one.”

Dick didn't really register his mistake as he let go of one of Red’s arm's to reach for and press one of his escrima sticks to Red’s neck. “How do you know about that? Don't you dare talk about him like that.”

“Aw how sweet,” the arm he’d freed grabbed the stick and rammed it into Dick’s chin before rolling out from under him. “Poor little Robin, what a terrible way to go. I can relate, but he’s not so unlucky as to come back. I wonder, if someone takes out this new kid, how fast will he be replaced?”

Dick ignored the implied admission that Red had been dead before. He was probably just doing it to rile Dick up, which was working. “Stop talking about him like that!” Dick lunged at him again with both escrimas in hand. Jason’s memory deserved to be respected, and he'd be damned if he let some asshole talk about him like he was easily replaceable; like he didn't matter.

“I heard,” Red said conversationally as he dodged Dick, “that you didn’t even show for the funeral. So this is quite the reaction to a little bit of chit chat.”

Dick only lunged at him again with a growl. He hated being reminded of the months he just didn't know. The months he thought Jason was still happy and breathing and not six feet under.

“Catch you later, bird boy. Maybe you should go check on the new kid,” Red dodged him again and then fired a grappling hook, flinging himself off the building.

And Dick would have absolutely followed him had Red also not been right, Dick had to begrudgingly admit. He had to check on Tim.

* * *

Tim looked terrible. Clearly beaten bruised and bloody, but he still offered Dick a small smile when he walked into the hospital room.

“Oh Timmy.” Dick forced himself to plop down next to his bed and hold his hand rather than crush him in a hug like he wanted. “What's broken?”

“A lot,” Tim admitted, voice a little strained. “I think I'm going to be benched for a while.”

“I ran into him,” Dick admitted, “I can't believe I had to find out from him instead of Bruce just telling me.”

“I told him not to, so don’t be too mad,” Tim told him. “I knew you had patrol tonight and an early shift tomorrow, and I knew you would worry and come here.”

Dick frowned, “I know that you care, but please don't keep things like this from me.”

“I'm going to be fine,” Tim assured him. “He was… Red Hood was seriously angry when he came to the tower. And I don't quite get why, but it seemed aimed at me. But he stopped. And I was down, so he didn't have to. It's not in his MO to either. But he didn't kill me, and I'll heal up in no time. It seemed like something that could wait until after work tomorrow to mention to you.”

“Well I'm glad I found out today, even if it was from the criminal that hurt you.” Dick got angry just thinking about Red Hood’s taunting. “He knew things about us. He taunted me about Jason.”

Tim looked a little surprised by that. But only a little. “He clearly has something against us. He's been caught following you, he broke into the tower to fight me, and he's in Batman’s city. But bringing up Jason doesn't make much sense. He can't really get revenge on someone already dead.”

“Maybe he just hates all of us on principle, even the ones that are dead.”

Tim shook his head and then winced at the movement. “It seemed personal.”

“Well for the few minutes of taunting, he didn’t really sound like he hated Jason. Sounded a lot more like he hated me and was using Jason as a sore spot.”

“Which makes it seem even less likely that it's a principal thing. He'd hate Jason too if it was, not just use him against you.”

“So he hates us and probably Bruce,” Dick concluded, “Why is the real question.”

“You'd have to ask him. I'm not sure. My best guess: something we did affected him negatively, and he's out for revenge.”

Dick mentally went through their fight again, this time trying to stay clear headed. “He kinda implied that he died before, not sure if he was serious about that or if that was just another attempt at a jab at me. Also not sure if he meant figuratively or literally. You never know what you’re getting in Gotham.”

Tim frowned a bit. “Putting aside that he shouldn't be here fighting anyone if he died, because this is Gotham it could happen and stranger things have, we don't kill people. That doesn’t seem like it should have much to do with us. Maybe someone we failed to save, but that still seems like something that should be directed at whoever killed him, not us.”

Tim’s eyes were drifting closed. “Sorry, I don’t think I’m going to be able to figure this out with you right now, the pain medication they gave me is kind of strong,” he said, forcing his eyes open again.

“It's alright, go to sleep, Timmy. I can't promise I'll be here when you wake up, but I'll be back tomorrow.”

“I'm fine,” Tim mumbled, eyes closing again. “You don't need to worry.”

“Too late for that.” Dick waited until Tim fully drifted off to leave. He didn't really want to run into Bruce for the rest of the day if he could help it.

On his drive back, Dick’s mind couldn't help but drift back to Red Hood and what he and Tim had talked about. It didn't make too much sense for his goal to be revenge, yet that was what it seemed like it was. Briefly he remembered the words inked onto his wrist. His soul mark clearly said ‘Revenge’, but that could still be anyone who was angry enough. His mind then wandered back to the year where the words on his wrist had vanished and he'd figured that his soulmate was dead until the mark had reappeared. Dick still didn't have a plausible explanation for that occurrence, other than maybe their revival. Red Hood had definitely implied that he'd been dead before too.

No, he wasn't going down that road of thought. There was no way his soulmate was a murderous psychopath who was more likely to kill him than kiss him.

* * *

Jason wasn't planning to run into Dick the next time he did. He was in Gotham and everything. But with Robin down for a little while he supposed it made sense that Nightwing would be flipping around this city too so that the no criminals got any ideas while Batman was down a sidekick.

Jason wasn't even really doing much of anything at the moment, taking a smoking break actually, but when he spotted a grappling hook he put his helmet back on before he could be seen, dropping the cigarette and getting to his feet as Dick swung by, letting out a wolf whistle as he did.

Dick landed a few feet away from him, clearly not amused, the fists clenched at his sides giving away the restraint he was putting forward at the moment. “You don't look like you want a fight, so I don't know why you're still patronizing me.”

Jason shrugged, putting out his cigarette with his boot. “Kicks?”

“What do you want from me, Red?” Dick sighed, “Am I just keeping you entertained before you try and put a bullet through me?”

“Maybe,” Jason mused. After all, Dick wasn't the one he was particularly angry with (at least no more than being associated with Batman made him angry), but Dick would side with Bruce when the time came, so he wasn't going to say that he wouldn't take him out if he got in his way. “If you want a fight I'm happy to oblige though.”

“I don't think that'll be necessary. We've been doing some thinking,” and Dick’s tone became just a bit lighter, it was the tone he used to ease criminals into giving him information, the tone that made it sound like he was your friend. Jason recognized it well from the times they'd patrolled together and his guard went up even higher. Dick liked to give his targets a sense of security and strike when their guards were down. It wasn't a method Jason was personally a fan of, he was more of a go in fists first kind of guy, but he’d seen first hand just how effective it could be. “You seem like you've got some kind of grudge on all of us. We just can't seem to figure out what it is. Care to enlighten us about our mistakes?”

“And ruin the ending? Nah, I'm good.” He answered, shifting his stance and placing a hand on his hip so it was closer to his weapons if he needed them.

“So there _is_ a grudge. Y'know most people just tell others their mistakes so they can improve. No grand scheme necessary.”

“It's a bit late for the improvement I think. But thanks for the input. How's that talking it out going for you and B?”

Dick’s eyes seemed to narrow behind his mask at the nickname. “Private.”

“Oh, now that sounds angry. That sounds like issues at home. C'mon, what was all of that about talking to people?” Jason taunted, grinning sharply behind his helmet.

“Funny. I'm just offering you room to vent,” And there was Dick trying to bring the topic back to him.

“So you can report it to Bats? No thanks.”

“Who said I would? You've already pointed out that there's issues.”

“And yet here you are, in his city, helping him. You may have issues, but you won't let him down. You'll be the perfect soldier no matter what he does,” Jason sneered.

“You don't know a thing about me.” And that friendly tone was gone, Jason’s hand inched closer to his gun as Dick took a step closer to him. “I wouldn't even need to be here if you hadn't put Batman’s partner out of commission in some fit of rage.”

“Oh man, I know all about you. And the little brat is fine. Better off than most people who piss me off at least.”

“Then enlighten me. What and how do you know anything about me?”

“Again with trying to ruin the ending. Do you read the last page in books first too? We’ll get there eventually. I've still got some pieces to move before it's all over.”

“That's pretty cocky of you to say when you know we’ll be here to stop you.”

“Oh, I'm counting on it,” Jason told him confidently.

“Then maybe it's not just cockiness, maybe you have a death wish.”

“Been there, done that, its over rated. And you guys don't do the killing stuff.”

Dick’s eyes seemed to narrow again, head tilting ever so slightly. “Care to share a little more about that?”

“You ask a lot of questions for a supposed detective. Figure it out yourself.”

“If you insist,” Dick shrugged and that's when he lunged at him, and while Jason had been expecting another tackle, Dick unexpectedly went for his arm, yanking his glove off.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jason freed his arm, but Dick still had his glove, and even with the mask on Jason could tell he was analyzing what he was seeing. Normal living human looking skin, so Court of Owls involvement in his resurrection out, a few scars from their line of work, bruised knuckles from his encounter with Tim, and a soulmark that read “justice” on his wrist.

“And I thought...” Dick said more to himself than anything else, throwing Jason his glove back.

“You thought what?” Jason asked harshly, checking the glove like he thought Dick had done something to it during his brief contact with it. He wouldn’t put it past him to put a tracker in it.

“Nothing,” Dick quickly brushed off. “Tell me, were you dead for about a year?”

Jason narrowed his eyes at Dick. “Again, a lot of questions, about things that really aren't your business.”

“Maybe they should be,” And Jason saw Dick’s aborted move to hold his own wrist where his own soulmark would be.

Jason eyed Dick’s covered wrist and then rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that tracks with everything mine’s been.”

“Then that means you once wanted to save the city. You could still do that,” Dick offered, taking another step closer to him.

“I am saving the city. Just not in the same way as you.” Jason couldn't say he was particularly surprised by this development. Who better to fit the goal of flying than a former Flying Grayson. He'd thought about it a lot as a kid, sort of hoped for it too because who wasn't a little in love with Dick Grayson, even with the rivalry and resentment mixed in there. He'd dismissed it though because why would the universe pair him with Dick? Now though, it just kind of felt like some sort of cosmic joke.

“I don't see how taking over the drug trade is saving the city. What was so bad with what you were doing before?”

“Do you want to start with the part where I died?” Jason asked incredulously. “I don't think that's sinking in for you.”

“Okay, fair enough, but my first point still stands.”

“No. It doesn't. Crime has gone down since I came to Gotham,” Jason told him.

“You're controlling crime by being a criminal. That's one hell of a contradiction.”

Jason shrugged. “Maybe. But it's working better than what you're doing.”

“But for how long? How long before you just become another criminal?”

“Well, Birdie, my plan is almost ready, so I guess we'll find out, won't we.” He pulled out his grappling hook, deciding it was getting to be time to bail. “Look man, you got the short end of the stick on this soulmates thing. And I'm sorry about that. A few years ago I might have been excited about this. Now? I'm not letting it get in my way.”

“Wait,” Dick said before he could swing away, “even if I don't like what you're doing, I'm glad you're back. I'm…” and he looked like he was struggling for words, “I'm glad you managed to survive in some way.”

Jason frowned, not sure how to answer that. “See if you still think that when everything is finished,” is what he came up with before leaving.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for a non graphic description of a panic attack in this chapter

After patrol that day, the first thing he did once he was safely home in Bludhaven was call Wally. He was sure he could've talked to Tim about his new discovery too, but this was one thing he definitely didn't want Bruce knowing. At least not yet.

“Hello?” Wally answered groggily, sounding like he'd just woken up and Dick was reminded that, even among heroes, not many stayed up until four in the morning.

“I found my soulmate.” Even if Wally needed sleep, Dick had too much on his mind. He'd make it up to him somehow.

“You what?” Wally suddenly sounded much more awake. “Details man, tell me all about it.”

“He's a rising criminal that has some sort of grudge against the family,” Dick’s voice sounded strained even to his own ears.

There was a pause for a few seconds before Wally spoke up. “Yeah okay, I’m going to be over there in a few minutes with ice cream and you’re going to tell me more about that.” And then Wally hung up.

Sure enough, a few minutes later a knock sounded at his door and Wally was there in pajamas holding up two tubs of ice cream. “So, a criminal with a grudge huh?”

Dick nodded with a slump of his shoulders, taking the ice cream and letting Wally in. “Red Hood, he's been getting a pretty big name for himself in Gotham. He also broke some of Tim’s bones.” Just saying that much Dick definitely needed a mouthful of ice cream. He plopped down onto his couch with a spoon helpfully provided by Wally.

“Yeah, Bart told me about the Tim part. Didn’t your soulmate want to like help people at one point? Did you find out what changed there to get him to Red Hood status?”

Dick absently ran a thumb over the word inked over his wrist while his spoon hung from his mouth. “Apparently death. He really died before, Wally.” It was still hard to wrap his mind around it. His soulmate was, for all intents and purposes, a zombie. One that was completely functional and, from the brief sight of his wrist, wasn’t discoloured in any way but still, coming back from the dead wasn’t a regular occurrence.

“I mean… I guess that would change someone.” Wally shoved a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, looking like he was thinking it over. “Okay, but I looked into this guy a little after what Bart told me. Isn’t he also taking out regular criminals? So maybe he’s trying to do good, but in a bad way, and you just need to figure out how to get him back to doing it in a good way? And then you’d be good soulmates for each other?”

“He seemed pretty goal driven. He's planning something and it seems like whatever it is, he's not going to listen to me until after his plans go through.”

“Then wait.” Wally took another bite. “I mean, obviously try to stop the plans, because he kills people and all of that, but wait on the trying to get to the talking stuff. If you know what he’s so angry about that his main goal is revenge, you’ll have a better chance of getting him past it. Right now you’re arguing with someone you don’t know much about. You don’t have any cards to put on the table to win him over.”

Dick mulled over that with another mouthful of ice cream. “Y’know, the rare times you're right, you're pretty amazing.”

“The rare times? Excuse you, I brought you ice cream at four am, dude,” Wally protested.

“You're the best friend any guy could ask for,” Dick quickly corrected himself with a bat of his eyelashes.

“Damn right I am,” Wally agreed, shoving Dick lightly.

“You think he'll actually listen to me in the end?”

“I don't know,” Wally admitted. “The universe paired you guys up for a reason, so something's going to have to happen.”

“I hope you're right.” Dick was practically hugging the ice cream now. “I wonder what kind of life he lived before becoming who he is now. His main goal for a lot of his childhood seemed to be to survive.”

Wally wrapped an arm around him, pulling Dick into a real hug. “Probably not a good one. Although, not that it’s an excuse, but I don't think most people who go out searching for revenge and killing people led good childhoods.”

“Yeah probably not,” Dick sighed, “a childhood so terrible that he died and then was brought back. I can only imagine how bad that was.”

“Maybe when everyone has calmed down some you can ask him about it.”

“Yeah, hopefully.” For the time being, Dick supposed he'd just have to live with being a nuisance to his soulmate.

* * *

He caught a glimpse of a chin and a sharp jawline before the helmet was back in place the next time he ran into Red Hood, who somehow managed to not look thrilled to see him despite his face being covered.

“I'm going to have to put a mouthpiece into this thing if you're going to keep showing up when I'm smoking,” he grumbled, putting out a barely smoked cigarette and looking ready to leave.

“Or you could just stop smoking. They make you smell like a chimney.” Dick was aiming for a light tone. The best way to learn more about someone and get on their good side was to make friends with them. Dick didn’t really have his hopes set that high, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try.

“The mouthpiece seems more likely,” Red answered flatly. “I'm heading out though. I already handled my business here.”

“Well what a coincidence, I was only stopping by.”

Red Hood looked at him, and it felt like it was a suspicious stare, before shrugging, heading towards the roof exit. “Whatever you say.”

“So tell me,” Dick said, following behind him, “do you shave because a beard wouldn't fit under the helmet? Or are you just not into the facial hair look?”

“The second one. Don't follow me.”

“Who says I'm not just going the same way?”

“The fact that Nightwing doesn't tend to walk places.” Red closed the exit door in his face. That was just rude.

Dick opened the door to continue to follow. “Who says? I'm capable of walking. Also that was rude as hell. I haven't done a thing to you today.”

“Listen, we aren't friends just because of this whole soulmates thing. And I don't need to be seen hanging around with a Bat. So go swing around the city somewhere else.”

“Why can't we be? Even if you aren't into the idea of being together, the fact that we're paired means we should at least be able to get along.”

Red turned to face him, arms crossed over his chest. “So you're just good with all of the killing all of a sudden? Or that I hurt the new Robin?”

And that had Dick straining to keep his light tone. “I'm pointedly ignoring those two things for the moment the same way I'm also pointedly not asking you anything personal or plans related.”

“Why?” Red asked him. “What do you get out of that?”

Dick shrugged, “I get to know you better.”

“You want to get to know me better? Well let's start with what I was doing in this area then,” his voice sounded angry as he spoke, even through the voice filter in his helmet. “I killed someone. A kid toucher. Found him in his home watching a video of himself raping a child, so I put a bullet through his dick and then another through his head. Now tell me, does this sound like something you approve of? Or are you going to tell me that he didn't actually deserve to die?”

Dicks fists clenched and he did his best to not shout. “That's not for us to decide.”

“Except that I _did_ decide. I decided he didn't deserve to live, and that it wasn't worth the risk that he'd be back out on the streets hurting more children, and I made sure that he couldn't.”

And Dick understood the sentiment, he really did, but that didn't mean he could agree with or condone it. He had to change the topic before he exploded and went into lecture mode. “Why do you keep trying to get rid of me? What did I ever do to you?”

“You're going to side with Batman,” Red Hood told him with absolute certainty. “When my plan is done, you're going to side with him. And I'm not interested in playing pretend with you until that happens.”

“How can you be so sure I'll side with either of you?”

“Because when push comes to shove, you’re still the first Robin, the perfect soldier, and even without that you and I don’t agree on this whole vengeance concept.”

“I haven't been Robin for a long time. Things change.” Dick wasn't even going to ask how he knew that; he knew he wasn't going to get an answer no matter how much he needed one.

“That doesn’t address my second point.”

“We don't agree,” Dick confirmed, “but that doesn't mean I'll side with B on principle.” He seemed to do less and less of that as he got older.

“And when we do have to address our different methods? You changed the subject to get away from that conversation. You’re trying to play nice with a time bomb. Something’s going to go bad, probably sooner rather than later.”

“I think I'm willing to still try with you during the countdown until something really does go wrong.” If he didn’t try that meant he was giving up, and that was the last thing he was planning to do.

“I’m not. I have plans that I don’t need you getting in the way of.”

“The way I see it, I'm gonna try to figure out what your plans are and how to stop them anyway. A little bit of banter along the way wouldn't hurt.”

“You're not actually a part of the plans, and I suggest you stay out of it. I don't particularly want to try to take you out, but if I have to I will.”

Dick rubbed his chin, a small smile forming on his face. “Which means you don’t completely hate me,” he concluded.

“That is not the message you were supposed to get out of that.” He could almost hear the eyeroll Red Hood was giving him.

“But you’re not denying it.”

“Not everything is about you,” Red snapped at him.

“I didn’t say that it was. I’m just looking on the bright side, which is that you don’t hate me.”

“I have people I hate more. Don't let it go to your head, or take it for more than it is.” He started walking down the stairs again. “Now stop following me around.”

“Maybe when we hit the street. Maybe.”

“Good luck keeping up when we hit the street,” Red muttered.

“That sounded like a challenge.”

“It's definitely not. My bike is parked on the street, and you can't swing around on the interstate.”

“Still sounds like a challenge, don’t tempt me, I might actually try,” Dick grinned.

“If you get run over it's your own fault.” They made it to the bottom of the stairs and out of the building and Red Hood hopped onto a sleek looking bike.

And Dick was still tempted to take him up on that challenge, but he figured he wouldn’t stay very lucky for very long. If the streets didn’t get him, Red probably would given his apparent temper. He didn’t really feel like getting shot today. “See you around.”

“I'd rather you didn't.” He then revved the engine and took off.

* * *

Jason was supposed to be doing a money exchange, but as soon as he entered the apartment he knew that wasn't happening.

For a second he froze when he heard the ticking sound, flashing back to being broken and bloody on a warehouse floor and knowing without a doubt that he was going to die.

He had to shake himself of though and find the bomb, but when he did he took one look at it and knew he wasn't going to be able to stop it in time.

So instead he turned his efforts to clearing the building, banging on doors and dragging people out when he had to.

He was shoving the last person through the door when the building blew, and he felt the force of it send him off the ground for a few seconds before he crashed back down. He could hear something crack, and he distantly wondered if it was his helmet or his skull before the black spots took over his vision.

* * *

“Mr. Nightwing!” Dick heard someone shout as he was moving towards the sound of an explosion. “Mr. Nightwing, someone's hurt!” The child, about ten by the looks of it, running away from the sound with his mother shouted to him.

“Only one person?” Dick dropped down onto the ground and crouched down to be at eye level with the kid who nodded earnestly.

“He's got a red helmet on. He got everyone out before it exploded,” the child told him.

“The Red Hood,” his mother added, clutching her son’s hand. “He’s not moving.”

Dick was already back to his full height and running towards the explosion again, “Thank you for telling me; both of you should get to safety now,” he called over his shoulder.

He spotted Red immediately when he reached the scene. True to the kid’s words, he looked to be the only one hurt, but Dick still had to check to be sure. He hauled Red off the ground and shot a grapple up towards the closest building that wasn’t on fire and set him down. “I’ll be right back, and if you’re not here when I get back I’ll hunt you down to make sure you’re fine,” he told the unconscious man. With that he went straight into the fire torn building.

He was glad to find that the the building seemed to be completely cleared of all of its occupants. He did have to stop one child from trying to go back in for her stuffed animal, but handled that quickly before returning her to her parents.

Dick then made his way back to Red to find he was definitely still unconscious. Dick noted that there was a huge hole in Red’s helmet, revealing his entire left eye… which was covered by a domino mask. He sure did take precautions to conceal his identity. He could also see that there was blood over the mask. Which meant he had a head wound.

Dick lifted him up, not an easy task considering the guy was a few inches taller than him and had several pounds of muscle mass on Dick, and grappled towards the closest safe house he had in Gotham to patch him up.

If Red was so careful about keeping his identity completely hidden, Dick could respect that, but he still had to get to the head wound, so he did what he figured was the most logical solution. He found the latch for the helmet, took a minute to safely disarm it, because of course it was armed, and slid it part way off and slipped a surgical mask over Red’s face before removing the rest of it, revealing messy black hair with a strip of white at the front. Even with most of his face covered, he looked familiar somehow, Dick just couldn't put his finger on it. He pushed that feeling down for the moment though, focusing on fixing him.

The wound was luckily not too bad, the helmet taking most of the damage. Without the helmet Red Hood would probably actually have died from his impact with the ground. Dick made quick work of cleaning and bandaging the injury, and then all that was left was to wait for Red to wake up and probably chew him out for helping him.

A few minutes later Red groaned, sitting up, and then the lenses of his mask widened and he gasped out a “where am I?” His breath was starting to come out in short quick gasps, and he tore away the surgical mask like that would help the air get into his lungs, clenching his fist around it in a white knuckled grip and looking around frantically.

And Dick instantly recognized him. He probably would have freaked out himself if he wasn’t so good at prioritizing pushing his problems away. Dick ran to his side and held Jason’s face in his hands forcing him to look at him. “You’re safe, you’re okay. It’s okay. We’re just in a safe house.” He tried his best to sound calm in the face of Jason’s panic attack.

“The explosion,” Jason managed to get out, even as he continued to struggle for air, the hand that wasn't holding the surgical mask in a death grip moving to hold Dick’s shoulder to steady himself, and he could feel Jason shaking slightly as he did so. He was also pretty sure his shoulder was going to have bruises where Jason’s hand was.

“You got out. You got everyone else out too. No one died.”

It took a little bit, but Jason's breathing started to even out, and his grip on both Dick and the mask loosened as it did. “I have to- I've got to go,” he said, and his voice wasn't nearly as steady as Dick was sure he wanted it to be.

But with the brunt of his panic over, and the mention of Jason doing anything but staying right there with him, meant Dick couldn’t hold in his own emotional break down any longer. “No, no please don’t. Just stay for a bit?” Dick could feel tears start to sting his eyes just from seeing Jason and how he’d matured and grown over the years Dick thought he was still six feet under.

“Someone tried to blow me up, I need to track them down.” Jason’s hand fell away from his shoulder, and he looked at his broken helmet on the coffee table with a frown. He tried to get up, but the head wound was clearly still bothering him because he fell right back onto the couch with a slightly pained sound.

“Just stay the night, until you’re healed up. I won’t even ask any questions you’re uncomfortable with.” Dick was aware he was bordering on begging, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.

Jason stared at him, and then reached up to his own face to touch his mask, like he needed to reassure himself it was still there. “You know. Fuck, you weren't supposed to know yet,” he muttered, more to himself than Dick.

Dick thought back to what Jason had said the last time they met. “I won’t tell B,” at least not yet, not when Jason still didn’t trust him. “I just… God I missed you.”

The lenses on Jason’s mask narrowed. “Why would you not tell Bruce?”

“Because he didn’t tell me you died.” And that wasn’t all a lie; he was still bitter about that.

Jason frowned at him. “He didn't- so that's why you didn't show to the funeral.”

“I can’t say it was all his fault. I should’ve checked up on you, checked in to see how you were doing. But I didn’t, and he didn’t, and I went months without knowing. I’m sorry.” Dick had had a lot of time to reflect on his relationship with Jason and all the ways he hadn’t been good enough for him. It was why he tried to be there so much more for Tim now.

“It's not like you had much reason to. Look, I already told you, you're not the one I'm most pissed at here. I'd be in Bludhaven more if you were.”

“That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have been there for you more. Please stay?” Dick repeated.

“Dick, I'm still Red Hood. I'm still taking out criminals. You don't want me staying here.”

“But you’re also Jason Todd, and that’s more important to me, so I do want you staying here.”

Jason shook his head, only wincing slightly at the motion. “I'm not a kid anymore, Dickie. A sleepover at your place isn't going to fix anything.”

“Like I said earlier, just stay and heal a bit. You have a head wound and I haven't even checked if you have a concussion.”

“If I stayed blacked out long enough for you to get me here I think it’s safe to say that I do. I’ll manage just fine.” He got to his feet again, this time only swaying slightly instead of falling back down.

Dick’s hand shot out to grab Jason's as he got up from the couch too. “Just tonight. Just tonight and I still won't ask you anything about what happened and what you’re planning.”

Jason ran his free hand through his hair and grimaced when the glove came back with blood on it. “If I did that you'd keep finding reasons for me to stay. It's better for everyone if I just go now. I'm sure I'll see you around since you've been hanging in Gotham lately,” he said, tugging at the hand Dick was holding.

Dick’s grip only tightened. “How is it better for anyone if I let you go back out there while you're swaying on your feet?”

“Because I already told you that this soulmates thing doesn't change anything, and now I'm telling you that neither does you knowing who I am.”

“I'm not trying to change anything,” at least not yet, “I missed you, Little Wing.”

Jason tried to step back, but stumbled when he did, and went completely tense when Dick caught him. “You've got one hour. If I'm still shaky on my feet by then it's my own problem.”

Dick still counted that as a victory and would've hugged Jason if he wasn't sure that it would drive him away. “Let's get you off your feet, you really should be resting.”

Jason carefully extracted himself from Dick and sat back down on the couch, watching him warily.

“Relax, I’m not going to bite. Do you want something to drink, or maybe some food? I promise I didn’t make it.” Since it was one of his Gotham safe houses it was up to Babs to keep them stocked, which meant everything was fully stocked and used up by the family when Dick failed to be in Gotham.

“I’m good,” Jason answered stiffly, reaching up and pulling the mask off of his face, which reminded Dick that he was still wearing his too and pulled his own off. He was vaguely aware his eyes were probably still red and puffy.

“How about you just rest a bit then? Sleep off the pain.”

“I think an ice pack would be enough for that,” he grudgingly conceded.

Dick was there and back with an ice pack at a speed that could rival Wally’s. “Whatever you need, just ask for it.”

“For you to stop acting so weird, Jesus Christ, I don’t remember you being this much of a hoverer before,” Jason muttered, putting the pack to his head.

“I thought you were dead for the past few years. I’d be crushing you in a hug if I didn’t think you’d try and kill me for it,” Dick frowned.

“I definitely wouldn’t recommend trying,” Jason agreed.

Dick still wanted some form of contact with Jason, as if just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating and sat down next to him with a hand over his knee. “I know I’ve said this like twice already, but you can’t blame me for missing you.”

Jason looked down at the hand and then back up at him. “We don’t need to do the touching stuff. There’s enough of my blood on your couch now if you want to dna test and make sure I’m real.”

“Just gimme a moment. I'm still getting over the part where you're actually alive. And you actually ended up growing bigger than me.”

“I told you that I would, that last part shouldn’t be surprising at all.”

“You could've stopped growing at like an inch shorter than me. I kinda liked you small, you were cuter that way.” Which got him a scowl from Jason.

“It’s a good thing cute is not exactly the image I’m going for.”

“I liked it,” Dick sighed before smiling at him, “but I like this too. Grown up is a good look on you.”

“You’re getting sappy; I don’t like it.”

“You should've known that I would. You're still my Little Wing.” Dick reached up to quickly ruffle his hair and ducked away before Jason could smack him. He grimaced at the blood that came off on his hand for the effort though.

“I’m definitely not that anymore,” Jason told him flatly.

“You’ll always be my Little Wing, sorry to disappoint you.”

“You remember the part where I kill people now, right? That didn’t change just because you found out who I am.”

“Can’t I have a few minutes of just being happy that you’re alive before you try and ruin it?” Dick huffed.

“I’m trying to bring you back down to reality.”

“And the reality is that someone I care about is alive and well enough to sass me. I don’t like what you’re doing, actually I pretty much hate it, but that doesn’t mean I hate you. I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

“And so what now? You’re just going to pretend I’m not doing what I am? Is that the idea?”

“I didn’t say that. I just thought you’d prefer I didn’t give you a Bruce quality lecture the minute I found out it was you under the helmet. I could do that if you want.”

“No,” Jason said firmly. “No, I don’t want that. I’ve already managed to get one from him, and he doesn't even know it’s me.” He eyed Dick suspiciously. “Yet.”

“I told you, I won’t tell him. Not yet anyway. But you know him, he’s gonna figure it out some way or another.”

“Not yet anyway,” Jason repeated.

“I’m figuring I won’t even have to, but if he asks me directly… You know I’m not the best liar.”

“He’s going to find out soon no matter what you do,” Jason said dismissively. “But I can’t picture a situation where he asks you directly if I’m the Red Hood.”

“Jay, whatever you’re planning...” Dick didn’t want to tell him what to do, mostly because he knew Jason hated that, but he also couldn’t just let him do whatever he wanted. “You’re not going to kill Bruce, are you?”

Jason had always had a better poker face than Dick, and he was leveling him with a completely blank look at the moment. “What happened to the not asking about my plans rule? The one that you put into place?”

Dick flinched slightly, “Right, you’re right, I did say that. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll stop.”

Jason continued to stare him down for a moment before rolling his eyes. “...no. I’m not planning to kill Bruce. I was. For a while. Still think about it a lot. But that’s not the plan. So you can stop looking at me like that, and that’s the end of this conversation.”

Dick breathed a small sigh of relief, because as much as he wanted to reconnect with Jason, he didn’t think he could live with himself if Bruce were killed and he had a chance to stop it, not that Bruce was very killable. “Alright. Y’know what we should talk about?” Dick had a cheeky smile in his attempt to lighten the mood again, because he’d be damned if his reunion with his Little Wing didn’t have any good points in it, circumstances be damned.

“I can’t even take a guess at where you’re taking this, so you’re going to have to actually tell me,” Jason said flatly.

“I remember a few encounters ago someone mentioned that at one point they would’ve been thrilled to have me as a soulmate.” And Dick was all but leaning into Jason’s space while Jason leaned back to try his best to maintain a personal bubble. “I wonder who that was.”

“Yeah, a few years ago. I think it’s safe to say that things have changed.”

“Aww, you sure there’s no lingering crush anywhere in you? Not even a little?”

“Crushes are sort of the last thing on my mind right now, Dickiebird.”

“You didn’t tell me about it back then. I gotta make up for the teasing now.”

“And now you know why I didn’t tell you back then.” Jason shoved him out of his space and Dick only laughed.

“But you tried so hard to convince me you hated me, and all that time you were just harbouring an adorable crush.”

“No, I definitely also hated you. It was a weird and confusing mix of feelings at the time.”

“You sure were one complicated kid. A kid I definitely should’ve been there for,” Dick sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t super welcoming when you tried,” Jason muttered.

“Well maybe I should’ve tried harder. I’m the older one, I should’ve known better.”

“You’re two years older than me, and you were a city away. Seriously, I’m over it.”

“Well I’m not. You deserved better.”

Jason just shrugged. “Can’t do anything about it now.”

“I feel like you should be angrier about this. I’m glad you’re not, but maybe you should be.”

“Oh, I'm angry about a lot of things. But I told you already, you're not really the one I'm pissed at.”

“Well I don’t think you’d be willing to deal with me like this if I were the one you were mad at.”

“I'm barely dealing with you now, and mostly because of the concussion I know I have.”

“Aw, I'm glad we’re talking too,” Dick grinned, dodging another elbow to the ribs from Jason.

“You’re lucky I have a concussion, or I would be punching you right now.”

“I can't say that's lucky for anyone and I still think you should lay down and sleep some of it off.”

“I’m not doing that,” Jason answered firmly.

“I didn't think that you would, I just said that you should. You barely listened to me for most of the time we knew each other I didn't expect that to change.”

“I’ll sleep in my own safe house,” Jason shrugged.

Dick, who had been aware of the passing time during the entirety of Jason's stay, leaned in and hugged Jason tightly, “At least you’ll be getting rest somewhere.”

Jason tensed up under the touch, prying Dick’s arms off of him. “Even I have to sleep sometimes. That's why I have safe houses.”

“You could be running yourself ragged plotting revenge, I wouldn't know.” Dick sat back with a sigh, “it's been an hour.”

Jason nodded and stood up, this time only a little unsteady on his feet and headed for the door. “I'll see you around I guess.”

“Yeah. Thanks for indulging me,” Dick smiled wryly.

“I wouldn't call it that, but sure. You're welcome.”

* * *

Dick knew the revenge plan had happened, and had not gone in Jason’s favor, when his wrist read: figure out a new plan.

He got the answers from Bruce after he demanded to know what happened. Jason's attempt to kill the Joker in front of Bruce, Bruce stopping him, and the subsequent explosion and Jason going missing.

And then it took a few days to track down Jason, in civies, laying on a rooftop a few cities away. This time Dick was significantly more emotionally stable and was ready for whatever Jason would throw at him.

“I don't want to see you right now, Grayson.”

“Yeah well, I’ve been looking for you for the past few days, so don’t think you’re gonna just get rid of me.”

“Yeah, you and Bats himself I'm sure,” Jason muttered, sitting up. “Just go home.”

“No,” Dick said stubbornly and sat down a few feet away from him.

“What do you want from me? Huh? Why are you here? Why can't you just leave me alone?”

“You should know why and if your answer is some magic tattoo then I guess I overestimated how well you know me.”

“I know it's not that, dumbass. Doesn't change that I really just want to be left alone right now. If no one bothered to fill you in, all of my work for the past few years sort of just amounted to nothing.”

“I know, Bruce gave me the run down, and I know you don’t know what to do now. Weren’t we always taught to have backup plans?”

Jason didn't answer that, just stayed quiet for a little bit before speaking up, voice quiet and steady in a way that sounded like it took a decent amount of control. “Dick, do you honestly think, that if it had been you, if the Joker had done to you what he did to me, that anything could have stopped Bruce from taking him out? No matter what problems you guys have, I don't think he'd have hesitated for a second. But me? I can't even kill the son of a bitch myself apparently.”

Dick took a moment to think about it. “I think he would’ve done exactly what he did with you if it was me. I think he would’ve been just as broken as when he lost you and lose himself in grief so hard that he’d actually think about killing the Joker before deciding he wasn’t worth it.”

“Well you never had to live in the shadow that was Dick Grayson, first boy wonder. I bet the replacement would agree with me,” Jason told him, laying back down and staring up at the night sky. “But ‘wasn't worth it’? Really? That's the argument we're going with. Because if Bruce had taken the Joker out after he killed me, Barbara would still be able to walk and so many other people would still be alive. It seems worth it to me.”

“It would also mean that the Joker would win. His entire thing is pushing Batman off the edge. Make him just as crazy as he is.”

Jason turned his head to stare at Dick incredulously. “Who seriously cares about that? If he wins or not? Let him win if it means that people stop getting murdered by him.”

“You know the bat motto. You can't have the moral high ground if you act like them. I know you think that's stupid, but that's how it is. He did think about it though, which is the closest he’ll probably ever get to killing.”

“Thinking about it doesn't do jack shit in terms of results. And even if he couldn't do it, why does that have to stop me from doing it?”

“Because we don't get to choose that. That's something he'll always firmly believe. Even when the Joker stops breathing because of one of us, he’ll find a way to resuscitate him so he can pay for his crimes.” Dick grimaced at the memory.

“He's not paying for anything when he keeps breaking out of Arkham. This is exactly what I meant when I said you'd pick his side.”

“I'm not on either of your sides. My moral code is the same as it's always been, but I'm also really damn pissed at Bruce.” Dick felt his hands clench into fists at the memory of Bruce recounting what happened to him. “He told me there was an explosion and that you went into the bay and that _he didn't go after you to make sure you were okay._ ” The last time Jason was near an explosion he had a panic attack, and last Dick checked, people didn't swim very well while panicking. “I drove up and down that shore for hours scared I'd find your body.”

“He was busy saving the guy who murdered me,” Jason informed him through gritted teeth. “I got to shore and got the hell away from there.”

“Yeah, I realized. He of all people should know that family’s more important, that _you_ are more important _.”_

“I'm glad at least one person thinks so.” Jason looked up again. “I'm still going to take some time away from Gotham though. I think you can understand how I don't really want to be there right now.”

“Yeah, I think you need the space. I just came to make sure you were okay,” he gave his wrist a little tap over where his soulmark was, “this only tells me you're alive, not that you're not bleeding out in the middle of nowhere.”

“What's it even say? I don't think I've really got any plans yet,” Jason asked curiously.

“That's what it says,” Dick laughed, “that you need a new plan.” And for the first time in years Dick heard Jason laugh too.

“Yeah, sounds about right. I guess you'll know when I do what's next.”

“Yeah I guess so. Does mine still just say justice, because that's kind of been the last thing on my mind lately.”

“Nah. It was ‘make sure he's okay’ for the last few days. Hasn't changed since you got here, so I guess you're not convinced,” Jason said, holding out his arm so Dick could see.

“I'm getting there. I also came by to ask if you wanted to come stay with me in Bludhaven until you have a plan. Bruce free, I promise.”

Jason shook his head. “No, I think I need some space away from all of the bat stuff. No offense. I'm sure I'll come back around eventually, but right now I think it would drive me a little crazy.”

“Alright. I figured that was what you'd say, but I thought it couldn't hurt to extend the offer. You're always welcome in Bludhaven and my apartment whenever you like.”

“You're barely welcome in Bludhaven. That place is worse than Gotham, why did you pick the worst city on the east coast?”

“Where better to set my roots,” Dick grinned.

“Literally anywhere else,” Jason rolled his eyes.

“Everywhere else had someone, and Bludhaven needed at least one.”

“Whatever man, maybe I'll find my own city. One slightly less awful.”

“Where's the fun in that,” Dick chuckled, “wherever you end up, try and keep me updated? Otherwise I'll just have to hunt you down again.”

“I'm not even sure I want to know how you did that this time since I haven't even put on the helmet since the failed confrontation.”

“It involved a whole lot of desperation and worry.”

“I'll consider sending you a postcard.”

“That's considerate of you,” Dick laughed although given Jason's habits, it really was.

“I'm still gonna be the Red Hood. So look out for news reports about that for probably more frequent updates.”

“I'll keep that in mind.” Dick scooted over closer until he was next to Jason. “Are you going to want to run away again if I hug you?”

“Yes, I absolutely will.”

“But it doesn't sound like I'm going to see you for a while,” Dick pouted.

“Yeah, probably not,” Jason agreed. “Doesn’t change my answer.”

“C’mon, just one for the road. You always make it sound like a hug is some kind of punishment.”

“You smell like sweat from running around trying to find me, it definitely would be,” Jason answer, grimacing at him.

“And you smell like tobacco most nights,” Dick shot back.

“I’m not trying to hug anyone.” Jason pointedly took out a cigarette and sat up a bit to light it and held eye contact with Dick as he took the first drag.

Dick dutifully plucked it from his lips and stamped it out. “Your cancer stick smells like shit.” And because they were being spiteful, Dick leaned in against Jason’s side to give him a half hug. He tried to disguise his search for bandages and injuries as just rubbing Jason's back, but Jason clearly noticed because he batted Dick’s hands away before actually shoving him off of him.

“You know cigarettes cost money. What a waste,” he complained.

“That sounds like a reason to stop buying them.”

“What are they going to do? Kill me? Already happened once,” Jason shrugged, scooting away before pulling out another one. “Don’t steal this one. You shouldn’t have stalked me if you didn’t want to deal with the smoke.”

“Like I was going to let a bad habit stop me from seeing you,” Dick snorted, “even if it's a disgusting one.”

“Then I guess I won’t offer you one,” Jason said, shrugging again and seeming to relax a bit as he exhaled the smoke.

Dick still scooted back over to Jason’s side until their arm's pressed together but ignored the smoking this time. He could deal with it. “You’re really okay? Physically, I mean. You’re not badly bandaging any hidden wounds?”

“I know how to do basic first aid on myself, Dickiebird,” Jason told him exasperatedly.

“It’s good to make sure, especially since someone won’t let me check.”

“I'm a fan of personal space, a concept I'm aware you aren't familiar with.”

“Not at all,” Dick grinned nudging his shoulder against Jason’s. “It means I care about and like you.”

“I still think that’s weird considering our very different views.”

“This might shock you, but you’re not the first person I’ve cared about that’s okay with what they think is necessary murder. I dated someone who was very okay with letting people die.”

“You’re definitely talking about Starfire then, because that doesn’t sound at all like Babs, who I would totally have let in on this revenge plan if I thought she’d be down for killing the Joker.”

“Yeah, Kori wasn’t exactly against letting some people die.”

“I see. I only met her like once; I didn’t get that impression, but I was also thirteen.”

“Yeah, she’s like that. Nice until you piss her off. Kinda like you, but you understand sarcasm and make it part of your personality.”

“Huh, so maybe that’s why the universe paired us up. You have a type.”

“Maybe the universe should’ve done you a favor too, and stuck you with someone who doesn’t involve your emotional baggage.”

“That would be nice, yeah. Harper is hot. I wouldn't have minded being paired up with him.”

“Can’t say I didn’t think about that once or twice either,” Dick chuckled.

“At least we've got taste in guys in common,” Jason chuckled.

“I think that’s because we work with a lot of the same people and aren’t blind. I’ve told you that you grew up really nice before, right?”

“No, I think the last time we talked you were still getting used to me being alive.”

“That sure was an emotional day.” Dick turned and leaned back slightly to get a better look at Jason, “Yeah, you grew up pretty nice.”

“And you got to miss a lot of puberty, so let's just go with I’ve looked this good since crawling out of my grave.” Jason grinned at him around his cigarette.

“I’m so disappointed I missed the puberty,” Dick sighed, “Would’ve been some fun teasing material.”

“Pictures of you going through puberty still exist, boy wonder,” Jason reminded him.

“My puberty was not that bad,” Dick huffed.

“Neither was mine, but there's proof of yours.”

“The only thing you can see in that proof are my shorts getting uncomfortably tight and my inability to shave the first few attempts.”

“And that video interview of Dick Grayson with the voice cracks.” Jason was absolutely laughing at him now.

“Shut up, Jay,” Dick pushed at his shoulder, “Not everyone can just pop back into society with a hot deep voice.”

“So my voice is hot too now huh?”

“I can admit that puberty was good to you.”

“Maybe I’ll leave out the voice filter on the next version of the Red Hood helmet then. The secret identity thing is blown anyway after all.”

“Only to us, but I can definitely say that not disguising your voice won't do too much to reveal who you are.”

“I was going up against the self proclaimed world’s greatest detective and all his bat followers. I had to take precautions. So, voice filter out, I think I’ll keep the mask under though. Gotta take the helmet off sometimes after all.”

“Are you keeping the leather jacket look? It was a pretty good look.”

“Yeah, definitely keeping that. Easier to store things in a jacket than spandex.” He looked pointedly over at Dick.

“It’s not spandex and that's what the belt’s for.”

Jason shrugged. “Got one of those too.”

“Besides, I can't move properly if it's not fitted to me. Anything different doesn't fit my look anyway.”

“Yes, I recall you telling me when I made fun of you back in the day for it. But you’re more about hand to hand combat, so I guess it does the job for you.”

“It’s padded, so I'm not completely unprotected. I'm just not bulletproof.”

“You should consider working on that,” Jason finished his cigarette and put it out. “And I should get going. I’ve got a new plan to figure out, and you’ve got a city to get back to.”

“I have been away for a while,” Dick sighed, “Stay safe out there, okay Jay?”

“That’s not really in the job description, is it?” Jason got to his feet and offered Dick a hand up.

Dick took it, letting Jason haul him to his feet. “You know what I mean. Just don't die again.”

“That’s definitely not a goal of mine. Try not to die yourself, Dickiebird.”

“I definitely don't plan on it, Little Wing.”

“Then I’ll see you around.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So, what are you doing in New York?” Jason asked, lowering his gun when he saw the Nightwing symbol.

“I feel like your wrist should tell you that.” Dick held out an extra cup of coffee to Jason, something he had along with a bag of snacks.

Jason holstered his gun and took off the helmet , mask still on under it, before accepting the coffee. “Haven’t checked it in a few days. I’ve been pretty busy.” He took a sip of the coffee before pulling off his glove. “New start, huh? Something happen?”

“Haven't you heard? There's not much of Bludhaven left, and the government doesn't seem to want us there anyway.” Dick took a fairly large bite of his danish, and Jason knew what Dick eating his problems looked like, and that bag of junk food was definitely it.  

“I’ve been working on a huge arms deal bust. I’ve barely even seen my apartment for the last,” Jason paused, clearly having to think about it, “two-ish weeks. Haven’t gotten much news. But shit, uh, let’s skip the coffee and get you a real drink. It sounds like you need it. We’ll stop by my place and change. I’ll make time for a night off.”

“Most of my stuff didn't make it out of the attack, and I haven't been by Gotham to get my stuff there, so I’m gonna have to steal some of your clothes if you want to change into civvies.”

Jason looked him up and down. “Yeah, you didn't quite look like you were packing a spare outfit, I figured I'd be giving you mine,” he said as he started to lead the way.

Dick shoved the rest of his danish in his mouth before getting up to follow.

Jason lead the way to his small apartment and dug around his closet for something for Dick to wear, tossing him some jeans a sweater and a belt, before he started to strip out of all of his Red Hood gear. “So, wanna tell me more about what happened? You seem like the kinda guy who thinks talking about his problems will help.”

“What's there to talk about?” Dick sighed, bending over backwards to unzip his suit, “A toxic goop villain got dropped on the city and lots of people died. A lot of crazy shit’s happened since then too but long story short, it's not easy to go back to.”

“I told you that you picked the worst city. And I went to New York. It's hard to do much worse than that.” Jason stripped the last of his armor away and changed into some civvies of his own, taking a glance in the mirror at his helmet hair and deciding it wasn't worth bothering with.

“Even for a bad city, that's not really a typical occurrence.” Dick peeled off his suit and simply sprawled himself down on Jason's bed in his underwear. “I don't want to go back to Gotham though.”

“Then don't.” Jason looked over at him and sighed. “Dickie, you can't go out like that. Well maybe you can, but I'm not going with you if you don't put on some clothes.”

“Fine fine.” Dick pulled on Jason's clothes with a bit of a frown, “have you considered adding more color to your closet?” The clothes were also just slightly bigger than he'd usually wear, but that was fine, he could go a night without his pants and shirt hugging him.

“Nope, be happy you have clothes at all,” he tugged Dick up when he was dressed. “C'mon, lets go drink your problems away.”

“I knew you'd be the best comfort.”

“If you wanted comfort you should have gone to Wally or Babs. You want alcohol that you don't have to pay for, I'm your guy. I'll even throw in cheap bar food if you're not too obnoxious.”

“I wasn't being sarcastic,” Dick smiled, “that's exactly what I wanted.”

“Good, then let’s go.”

Jason took them to a bar a few blocks over. “I'll take a beer, the mozzarella sticks, and whatever he's having,” Jason greeted the bartender with a grin.

“Oh _and_ mozzarella sticks? This one must be a keeper, Jay.” She winked at him and turned to Dick. “And what will you be having, sweetheart?”

“I'll take a beer too, thanks.” Despite not feeling his best, the smile Dick managed to flash at everyone was still stunning. “I sure hope he considers me a keeper, because I sure think he is.”

“Oh you're definitely too good for him,” the bartender joked.

“Hey, I'm the regular customer here, should I be the one getting insulted?” Jason protested, and was ignored as she went to get them their drinks and then take someone else's order after waving at Dick.

“I can't say I agree with her,” Dick told Jason, “I mean you're letting me drink my problems away _and_ treating me to junk food. And also, your arms.”

“If we're just talking about good body parts, your outfit doesn't let me forget you've got a great ass,” Jason answered as he took a sip from his beer.

“My suits functional and distracting, it's a win-win.”

“Sure sure. Drink up, Dickiebird. And that's the last of our extracurricular talk for the night. This is supposed to distract from all of that,” he said as the mozzarella sticks were brought out.

Dick dutifully downed half his beer before chomping on a mozzarella stick, which turned out to be the best idea, or the worst considering who you asked, because Dick was already starting to feel lightheaded. “Why does getting drunk make everything taste better?”

“Because alcohol tastes terrible. By comparison everything else is better,” Jason answered, taking one of the sticks for himself. “And you've only had half a beer.”

“I never said I was a heavy drinker.”

“I'm going to need some shots if I'm going to keep up with your level of intoxication then,” Jason muttered, more to himself than to Dick.

“I’ll be tipsy in two beers,” Dick nodded, “And probably drunk after three or four.”

“Dickie, your face is already flushed from half a beer. What's your definition of tipsy and drunk?” Jason asked as he motioned the bartender over. “Three tequila shots.” She raised an eyebrow but poured them anyway and laughed when she put them down between them and Jason moved them closer to himself.

“I'll just have another beer,” Dick grinned, downing the rest of his bottle, the motion making him feel dizzy.

About two and a half hours later Jason was borderline carrying Dick back to his apartment, an impressive feat considering he wasn't exactly sober himself. “You liar, you told me we didn't need a cab,” he complained as Dick clung tighter to him when he stumbled.

“What’re you talkin’ ‘bout? It’s so close,” Dick slurred.

“You're barely doing any walking.” Jason grabbed onto a lamp post to steady them for a second before he started walking again, wiping his hand off on his pants first because he’d seen enough in these streets that he regretting touching the post almost immediately.

“It’s like, right there,” Dick tried and failed to point forwards. “I bet you could carry me. I bet deez arms could throw me.”

“Maybe a few shots ago.” Jason really just wanted to lay down and sleep. He'd been exhausted the last few days, and the alcohol wasn't helping with that.

“Oh look, it’s thiis,” Dick pulled at Jason’s shirt to get him to stop. “You’re on last floor, but there’s an elevtor…” Dick frowned, “elvter… elevterer. Box that lifts us up.”

“....That's the door.” It took a few tries but Jason got the door open and was able to actually lead them to the elevator where he could lean against one of the walls and let that do all the balancing for him.

Dick leaned against Jason in a way where he was staring at his face as they went up. “You have pretty eyes.”

Jason was sure if he wasn't already flushed from the drinking that he would be blushing as he looked away from Dick’s face. “Yours are nice too.”

Dick gave a delighted giggle and hugged himself to Jason, pressing his face into the crook of his neck. “You’re the greatest.”

“Not great, just tired,” Jason replied as the elevator doors opened.

He struggled with his apartment key until he pulled a lock pick from his jacket pocket, deciding that would be easier, and got them inside, barely remembering to close the door behind them and tumbling onto his bed with Dick half on top of him.

Dick just rolled with it and clung himself to Jason that way. “Warm.”

“The blanket is warmer,” Jason commented, making no move to try and make use of it though.

“Das okay,” Dick mumbled, nuzzling his cheek against Jason's shoulder.

Jason just hummed vaguely in agreement and let himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

Dick woke up to the smell of cooking instead of burning and a massive headache that was accompanied with an aversion to the sun. He really didn't want to get out of bed or really move in general but food was really tempting.

With a groan he pushed himself out of bed and shuffled his feet towards the smell to find Jason over the stove. Dick moved over to him and pressed his face between his shoulder blades with something between a groan and a whine.

“You’re clingy even when you’re hungover? Really?” Jason shrugged him off. “There’s water and aspirin on the counter.”

“You're beautiful and too good for me.” Dick reluctantly peeled himself away from Jason to down the aspirin.

“Damn right,” Jason muttered, turning off the stove and passing Dick a plate with an omelet and bacon.

Dick shoved a bite into his mouth and practically moaned. “I'd kiss you if my mouth wasn't busy.”

“It’s just an omelet, Dickiebird. Nothing to get that excited over. I’m hungover too, so minimal effort.”

“It's been a while since I've gotten home cooking. This is great.”

“Again, it’s just an omelet,” Jason reminded him before starting to eat his own.

Dick didn't really have the energy to tell Jason that he’d been living on cereal and frozen food for the last little while, so he just let it slide. Once he finished he put the plate in the sink and was back to pressing himself to Jason's back.

“Dick, I don’t know about your other friends, but I’m sort of a fan of personal space, and this is not it.”

Dick pouted but still took a step back, stumbling until his back met the wall. “You're warm.”

“Yes, you told me that several times last night.” Jason slid off his jacket and tossed it to Dick.

Dick gratefully pulled it on and wrapped it around himself. “Alcohol drops body temp and you were practically radiating heat.”

“I was drinking too, dumbass. More than you did.”

“And yet you stayed warm, I don't know how.” Dick hobbled over to the couch to collapse on it. “Can we draw the blinds and just Netflix all day?”

“I don’t have Netflix. Or actually the time to do that. If you’ve got an account, feel free to try to set it up on my tv. If you can get my tv to work. I’ve gotta get back to my case.” He did go over to the window and draw the blinds for Dick though.

“Aren't you hungover too? I thought I was the workaholic.”

“I am absolutely hungover, but that’s not going to stop me from getting this done. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“It's still daylight though?”

“I know. These fuckers are operating in broad daylight, it’s not giving me a lot of time to sleep. I’ve got to keep up with them during the day and patrol at night,” Jason explained as he started putting on his Red Hood outfit.

Dick sighed, “Come back when you're done with them and I’ll probably be better by then.”

“There’s more asprin in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom if you need it. You can have what you want from the fridge, but if you burn down my apartment I’m going to be upset.”

“Thanks. I might not be back to a hundred by the time you're back, but I should be good enough to take some patrol.”

“You don’t need to do that, you can just rest while you’re here.” Jason checked over his guns before holstering them and then pulling on the helmet.

“If you think I'm letting you do a full days load of work when you feel just as shitty as I do then you clearly don't know me. I'd offer to help now but like this I'd probably just be a hindrance.” Dick slouched further down onto the couch.

“This isn't really a team effort sort of thing.”

“Yeah I also figured you'd say that. That still doesn't mean I won't take at least half your patrol. You deserve to relax a bit too.”

He couldn't see Jason's face behind the helmet, but he was sure that Jason was rolling his eyes at him. “Whatever, Dickiebird. We can argue about this when I get back.”

“There's no argument, I'm going!” Dick called out but Jason was already out the window.

* * *

Jason didn't come back until the sun was starting to set, but he'd finally tracked down the center of the arms dealing ring and managed to take that down and confiscate the weapons.

He came back in through his window and started stripping down his suit so he could at least get in a quick power nap.

“How's the hangover,” he asked, spotting Dick on his couch.

“Not gone but better. How was your case?”

“Finally finished.” He put away the last of his armor and collapsed onto his bed in his boxers. “Wake me up in an hour and a half.”

“I can do that.” Or Dick would at least think about it; Jason did deserve a night off after all.

An hour and a half later once the sun was fully down, Dick was suited up and more or less okay. He’d take it easy tonight, maybe only a few flips. He was just about to crawl out the window when Jason roused.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jason asked him, and he was glaring, but the lack of clothing and the bedhead made it not quite as intimidating as he was probably going for.

“Going to work?” Dick tried to sound innocent.

“You jackass, you were supposed to wake me up.” Jason dragged himself out of bed and stretched.

“And you said you haven’t had much down time. You deserve some.”

Jason yanked Dick back from the window by the collar of his suit and dragged him back to the couch. “I'm making food, and then I'm going to shower and then show you on a map where you are allowed to go while I cover the rest of the city,” he said in a tone that almost reminded Dick of Bruce with the unwavering authority.

“If you’re going out then you’re giving me half the area, not just a section, and you shouldn’t be going out at all because you haven’t had time to relax from your hangover,” Dick said in just as authoritative of a tone. He’d grown up with Batman too after all, and been team leader to a few different groups.

“This isn't your city, Dick. You don't get to make the calls,” Jason said as he rummaged around his fridge.

“My calls aren’t about the city, they’re about your wellbeing.”

“I'm fine, and also not your responsibility.”

“Can’t stop me from caring about you just because you’re grumpy.”

“I can sleep in tomorrow, I'm fine,” Jason reiterated.

“No you’re not,” Dick huffed, “But you’re also awake now, and I can’t lock you up in your own apartment.”

“I’m making grilled cheese, because I don’t feel like really cooking. Any objections?” Jason asked, setting up the stove.

“None.” Dick settled to sit at Jason’s kitchen island for roughly the next fifteen minutes.

Jason passed him a plate when he was done, settling next to him to eat his own as well.

Dick pulled his gloves off to eat too. The silence was killing him. “How much trouble do you usually run into? It’s a big city.”

“Not many guys in tights like Gotham and Bludhaven. Most of the people dressed like that want you to give them money. Lots of gang violence and normal crimes like murder and assault and robbery. Less weird plans and more guns and bombs.”

“That’ll be a nice change. I’m kind of sick of crazies with their mass murder plans.”

“These people are more likely to just try to shoot you than to try and capture you though. So be careful about that,” Jason warned.

“I think I can handle that. Might prefer it too. Getting captured just gets annoying.”

“So does getting shot.” Jason grinned at him and it sounded like he was only half joking.

“I’m sure,” Dick chuckled.

He considered trying to just bail out while Jason showered, but he figured Jason would track him down and that wouldn’t go as well as he wanted, so he waited.

“Alright, show me which half of the city I’ll be running through,” he said when Jason was showered and dressed in front of him. He was still adamant he get at least that much at least.

Jason rolled his eyes, but pulled up a map on his laptop and highlighted the route for Dick. “That work for you?”

“Looks good to me.”

* * *

“So how long are you planning to stay in the city?” Jason asked him over food the next day.

“I don’t know,” Dick frowned, “Not really sure of anything right now.”

“I've been thinking about leaving. Maybe even getting a group together. If you wanted to just stay here I could just give you this place and the safe houses I've got around the city. A fresh start for you,” he offered.

“Kinda sounds like kicking you out and I don’t want to do that to you when you’ve already got a good thing here.” Dick did appreciate the offer though.

“It's not kicking me out if I was planning to leave anyway. I haven't been feeling the one city thing lately. Red Hood could become a traveling act. Bringing my own justice across the globe.” He grinned at Dick. “I didn't ask before, that's what it says on you though, right? Something about justice.”

“Yeah,” Dick held up his wrist, the words ‘My Brand Of Justice’ inked there. “You sure you don’t want to stay? You’ve made a pretty good name for yourself here.”

“I was going to leave before you came here, Dickiebird. If you're staying it just means I don't have to do anything with the safehouses,” Jason assured him.

“I guess if you’re sure,” Dick offered him a small smile, “It’s kind of a shame though. I kinda missed working with you; even if we didn’t do it too often back in the day.”

“Liar, I was terrible to work with.” Jason laughed. “I never listened to you, and spent half the time trying to pick fights with you.”

“You still do that,” Dick said pointing his spoon at him accusingly, “But it’s nice bonding time.”

“And I'm still terrible to work with. Everyone says so.” He leaned back in his chair, having finished his food. “That being said, maybe this group thing is a bad idea. I don't even know who'd actually join it. I'll just travel solo for a while.”

“You’ve always been a bit of a lone bird. It’d be nice to see you getting along with someone in the hero community.” Dick unfortunately couldn’t really see it happening.

“They’d have to be fine with the way I do things, and most of them aren't.” Jason shrugged. “Who knows, maybe I'll find some people traveling around.”

“I’m not great with how you do everything and yet here I am. You’re also starting to sound a lot like a travelling circus,” Dick grinned, “You sure you don’t want me around for that?”

“I thought you wanted to start fresh somewhere,” Jason reminded him.

“Yeah, I do. I loved the travelling circus biz, but I don’t think that’s really me anymore.”

“And I'm not really into camping, had enough time sleeping outside, so we wouldn't even have a tent for this circus.”

“I guess it’s a dream for another time,” Dick chuckled.

“I'll start clearing my stuff out tomorrow I think. We can patrol together tonight though if you want. I'll ignore everything you tell me like old times.”

“And I’ll yell at you like old times. It’s a good system.”

“Does that make this the sleepover where we shit talk Bruce and watch shitty Tv?” Jason asked.

“Absolutely. I’ll even let you pick the show this time.”

* * *

“Huh. Did you know about this?” Tim turned his laptop to face Dick, showing him an article about Red Hood, Arsenal, and Starfire working together.

“I didn't think Todd knew how to work with others,” Damian commented from Dick’s other side on the couch.

“Like you're one to talk,” Tim muttered, and Dick was glad he was between them as Damian glared, or it might have gone farther.

“Huh guess he did manage to find a team after all. Didn't think it'd be with them though but I'm glad,” Dick said, mostly to himself.

“I saw him pretty recently, we had breakfast after an info exchange. He didn't say anything about a team, so this must be pretty new,” Tim told him.

“You and Todd are having breakfast now? Didn't he put you in a hospital before?”

“That was years ago. We're getting past it.”

“Dami, last time I checked you tried to do the same to Tim,” Dick chided.

“I'm not getting breakfast with him. I'm only here to see you,” Damian shot back.

“Aww, love you too, Dami.” Dick affectionately ruffled his hair, ignoring his complaints. “But Tim, you saw him recently? How is he?”

Tim shrugged while Damian grimaced and fixed his hair. “He seemed fine to me. He didn't stick around for too long though, but that's not too surprising. We're getting along better, but we're still not exactly friends.”

“Well I'm glad he's moved past wanting to kill you.” Dick smiled at the picture attached to the article, “He looks like he's been doing good.”

Damian leaned around him to scan the words on the screen. “An alien, a man whom he had to break out of political prison, and Todd. A great combination,” he said sarcastically.

“They're all great people, and you're not going to look down on any of them,” Dick reprimanded firmly. He may not talk to them much anymore, or at all, but he still cared about them.

“They're killing people,” Damian said flatly.

“You used to do that,” Tim cut in.

“Used to, Drake. Past tense.”

“Their methods aren't the best, but they're all still great people. You need to stop judging people before you meet them, Dami.”

“I've met Todd. A few times. Am I allowed to judge him at least?”

“I guess that's fair, but you didn't like him even before you met him from what I remember.”

“I liked him less after meeting him,” Damian confirmed.

“You should hang around Gotham more often if you're hoping to bump into him. He comes by here a lot,” Tim suggested to Dick.

“Maybe,” Dick mused, “and I do always love seeing you two.”

“It wouldn't be terrible to have you around more,” Damian allowed.

“His favoritism is so obvious it’s adorable,” Dick laughed, “You both know I always miss you, right?”

“Of course you do,” they said at the same time and then turned to glare at each other.

“Now now, there’s enough love to share between the both of you and Jay.”

“I personally still don’t understand how you can love either of those imbeciles,” Damian grumbled.

“It’s fine, Dick. I understand that you have to tell Damian you love him equally. He’s still ten so he’d probably cry otherwise.”

“I can give you something to cry about,” Damian threatened.

“You can try.”

Dick had to hold his hands out and separate them before that could escalate.

“You should consider making your trips longer so that these don’t have to be group hang outs,” Tim informed him.

“I’ll consider it. Maybe make these visits even longer if I manage to see Jay when I come by too.”

“You’ll stay longer for Todd, but not for me?” Damian asked indignantly.

“I meant that I’d stay long enough to get my equal fill of all of you. Don’t pout, I love you all.”

“Don’t feel too bad. He’s got a thing for Jason,” Tim told Damian, as he turned his laptop back to face himself.

“A thing? Like a present?”

“No. Unless the present is his - nevermind. I’ve been hanging around Steph too much. A crush. Romantic feelings.”

“That’s stupid. Grayson could do much better while he waits to find his soulmate.”

“Wha- where did you even- I don’t have a crush on Jason,” Dick was too busy sputtering denials over Tim’s comment on his very untrue crush to correct Damian on the whole soulmate matter, not that he really would’ve corrected him even if he hadn’t been distracted. He still wasn’t sure how to break that to the family just yet.

“Oh.” Tim looked at him curiously and then looked at his laptop again. “Sorry Damian, I misspoke. Dick has a thing for Jason that he’s still in denial to himself about.”

“I don’t even know where you got the idea that I have a crush on Jason, which I don’t.”

“I’m not explaining feelings to you. You’ll put it together when you’re ready.”

“I want an explanation,” Damian demanded.

“I’ll show you the drunk texts later then.”

“What? I haven’t been drunk since...” Dick felt his stomach sink, “What did I text you and you have to erase them.”

“Since a little over a year ago. I’m pleading the fifth. Did you erase them on your own phone or something? How did you not see them later?” Tim asked.

“I didn’t remember texting anybody!” This was what he got for never paying attention to past texts.

“Unfortunate,” Tim said blandly, not looking up from his laptop.

“Timmy,” Dick pouted, pulling him into a hug that he didn’t reciprocate, “Timmy!”

“I’m not telling you, no matter how many times you hug me and call me Timmy,” Tim answered as Damian’s phone buzzed.

“This is disgusting. I change my mind; I didn’t want to know,” he grumbled, deleting the screen shots just before Dick could get a peek at it.

“Oh my god, what did I say? Why did Jason let me have a phone that day?”

“Probably because he didn’t think about it. Jason doesn’t seem the type to drunk text,” Tim chimed in. “I’m not even entirely sure he has a phone most of the time. Every time I’ve conversed with him over the phone he’s had a different number.”

“That’s because he’s too paranoid for his own good.” Dick said trying to get a peek at Tim’s phone from over his shoulder.

Tim showed the phone to him, but all he saw were Tim’s apps and his background, which was a photo of him and Conner laughing with Conner’s arm wrapped around Tim. “It’s not up anymore.”

And while Dick was still disappointed about not knowing and curious to all hell, there was another pressing matter he needed to focus on. “Since when were you and Conner dating? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We aren’t dating,” Tim muttered, pressing a button on his phone so the screen went black.

“Oh,” Dick blinked, “ _Oh_ ,” and then he looked to Tim, “Oh Timmy.” He hugged him harder.

“Stop that, what are you doing?” Tim complained while Damian muttered something about ordering food because he was uninterested in hearing about Tim’s love life and walked out.

“You should tell him; I’m sure he’d be overjoyed to know that you have feelings for him.”

“I didn’t have a soulmark until he was created, you know,” Tim commented. “I kind of dismissed the whole thing as stupid, and now he’s my best friend and I’m in love with him, so I guess it’s not that stupid, but he also thinks the whole soulmates thing is stupid. He doesn’t like the idea of the universe telling him what to do, because he’s had enough of people telling him what to do in labs, and so he doesn’t know that mine didn’t show up until he existed.”

“Then don’t tell him that you love him as his soulmate, tell him that as his best friend. That’s more important than some words on your wrist. Besides, the words don’t really mean anything if there isn’t at least some type of connection.”

“It feels like lying, not telling him, which isn’t really how I hear people are supposed to go into relationships.”

“You definitely shouldn’t lie to him. Just break it to him as maybe an after thought. You’re his best friend and you love him, and you also just happen to be his soulmate.”

“I’ve been thinking about it. If I manage to do it I’ll be sure to let you know how that goes. If you promise to visit more.” He added the last part with a small smile. “Otherwise, you’ll just have to get secondhand gossip on my love life.”

“I’ll visit whenever I can, and I’ll call a lot more. You can count on that.”

“Then you’ll be the first to know. After the team, because I don’t think we’ll get that past them no matter how it goes.”

“And don’t forget to tell Steph. She’ll kill you if she finds out second hand and I kind of like having you around.”

“Steph knows about all of this already and has insisted on being there whenever I ‘man up and tell him already’ as she put it.”

“Of course she did,” Dick laughed, “Well, good luck, Timmy. If it helps, the few times I’ve met Conner, the guy seems pretty head over heels for you.”

“What do you know? You don’t even know you want to be with Jason, and I got a lot of details about that,” Tim teased him.

“What did I tell you? How can you believe anything I said when I was drunk off my ass?”

“Because of how much of it I got. And it wasn't just about the sex stuff, cause I would have dismissed that as drunk rambling. Jason's hot after all. And there was a lot of that too, by the way. Things I didn't want to know about your interests.”

“Oh my god,” Dick groaned, burying his face into Tim’s hair, “You’re killing me, Tim.”

“Then you know how I felt reading ‘I still have my BPD handcuffs, do you think Jason would be interested in using them? I'm down for either of us wearing them.’ And that was a mild one.”

“Please stop. I want the slightly less painful embarrassment of just reading them myself without you repeating them to me.”

“No way. I'm saving the rest of it. Blackmail is an amazing thing to have.”

“I tell my drunk emotions to you and you use it as blackmail. Is there no trust?”

“You're the one that taught me it's good to trust people, but have a backup plan.” And now Tim was laughing at him.

“That was never supposed to be used against me! I was teaching you survival!”

“And I'm alive to use it against you. It worked.”

“I’m calling this betrayal.”

“Call it what you like,” Tim agreed easily as Damian reentered the room.

“Food should be here in fifteen minutes,” he informed them.

“Thanks Dami. We’re done talking about feelings too, if you want to join us. Especially since Tim’s being a jerk.”

“If you've grown tired of him we could simply throw him out,” Damian suggested.

“I didn’t say that,” Dick quickly amended, “I still love him. He’s just being a jerk.”

“I read the messages too. You don't want to see them,” Damian shrugged, sitting back down on the couch and pulling up movies on the tv. “So, if we're not kicking Drake out, let's move on.”

* * *

Jason, Roy, and Kori were in Gotham because their case had led them there.

They'd been out of their ship for all of ten minutes before Jason was tackled to the ground in a hug from Nightwing.

“Jesus, Dick. I almost shot you,” Roy muttered, lowering his bow, which had lifted as soon as a person coming at Jason was registered.

“I'm still thinking about it,” Jason muttered from under Dick. “I know what people do on Gotham streets. I don't appreciate being laid out on one.”

“Missed you too, Jay,” Dick giggled, giving him a squeeze before standing and offering Jason a hand which Jason took. “I missed you guys too,” Dick directed to Roy and Kori.

As soon as Dick let go of Jason's hand Kori was pulling Dick into a hug that Jason thought looked almost painful. “I have missed you as well!” She told him, smiling happily as she set him down.

“You're not the worst familiar face I've seen since Jaybird busted me out of prison,” Roy said, patting Dick’s shoulder.

“Glad to hear considering how much I’ve been anticipating seeing all of you.You're not the easiest people to keep track of.”

“We try not to be. Oddly enough, a lot of people don't like us,” Roy told Dick.

“Can't imagine why,” Jason drawled.

“Weird, you guys are some of the best company I can think of. Even grouchy Little Wing there.”

“Why is Jason Little Wing? He is bigger than you,” Kori pointed out.

“Because he got the nickname when he was cute sized and I’ll never let it die,” Dick grinned cheekily at him.

“You can't see it, but I'm rolling my eyes at you,” Jason told him.

“So what have you guys been up to? You all look like you’re doing great from what I get from the news.”

“We saved a planet a little while ago. So that was cool,” Roy told him with a grin. “And fought some weird ancient beings of evil. A little less cool and more weird.”

“Mostly just traveling around with our vigilante work. We’ve got a space ship now. It won’t actually go into space, but it travels Earth faster than a plane,” Jason added.

“And Roy and I have been dating,” Kori finished.

“Really? That's great,” Dick looked genuinely happy for them, “You’re both pretty amazing, I can definitely see what you guys saw in each other.”

“You say it’s great because you don’t have to walk in on them all the time,” Jason muttered.

“If you wish to join at any point, Jason, you know that you are welcome,” Kori told him.

“Yeah, that was fine until you guys were actually dating. Now it feels weird.” He turned back to Dick. “Anyway, we’ve gotta get back to our case, so we can’t really hang out right now. We can maybe catch up before we leave though.”

“Alright alright, I'll let you guys work, but you,” Dick poked Jason's helmet where his nose would be, “you need to make it easier to call you.”

Jason leaned back from Dick’s finger. “I like not being able to be tracked down easily. As we said, lots of people don’t like us. And also, the last time I had a phone for more than three months, B got my number. So that’s my maximum now.”

“Then make it easier to get your number. That way maybe next time I won't greet you by tackling you with a hug. Maybe.”

“I know you. I don’t buy it.”

“Jaybird doesn’t answer his phone when he has one half the time,” Roy told Dick. “I’ll send him something and watch him ignore his phone.”

“I’m doing other things,” Jason shrugged.

“Like ignoring the people who care about you,” Dick huffed.

“Roy texts me while we’re in the same room. I’m not answering that. And half of my texts are memes that Steph sends me. They don’t require immediate answers.”

“Maybe I should start texting Roy for updates on you,” Dick muttered to himself.

“You might as well. He apparently listens in on my phone calls,” Jason turned his head pointedly towards Roy.

“Only the important ones. And it’s saved your life before.”

“He does it because he cares,” Dick chuckled. “Now gimme a hug before you run away,” Dick pulled Jason in before he could do just that, and Jason muttered complaints but let him do it.

* * *

Dick didn’t have the best memory of how everything played out. He hadn’t been very lucid during all of it. He’d been beaten and bloodied by his kidnappers, very unsubtly calling themselves the Crime Syndicate. They’d taken away his mask, sharing his identity to the world, they took away his freedom, and now they were planning to take his life, one way or another.

He could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor attached to his chest as he stood encased in an industrial sized bomb, and he knew with every beat of his heart, the timer on the bomb crawled it’s way closer to zero. There was only one way to disengage the bomb, and Dick was ready for it, was prepared for what was surely his inevitable fate. Whether the bomb was disarmed or not.

When Batman appeared in front of him, he thought he was hallucinating for a moment, thought that it was his mind trying to gift him with one last image of someone he loved, which confused him to some degree because, while he did love Bruce with all his heart as the man who had raised him, he wanted nothing more than to see Jason right at that moment, just one last time. It confused him even further when he saw Luthor, Catwoman and Bizarro behind Batman.

It didn’t take long after that to realize that everyone in the room was, in fact, really there which meant they were really in danger. He’d tried to get Bruce to leave, tried to tell him that there was only one way to disarm the bomb, that this was something Dick was ready for because it would save Bruce’s life.

He wasn’t too sure on what happened after that. Bruce was in front of him one moment, his voice drowned out by the constant beeping, and then he was gone, replaced by Luthor. There was shouting that Dick could just barely make out. Luthor’s hand covered his mouth and nose, he felt the air constricted out of him, could hear the beeping speed up and then there was nothing.


	4. Chapter 4

“Where is he?” Jason demanded, striding into the Batcave and looking around like he expected to find Dick sitting there recuperating from … from whatever had happened to him to make Jason’s wrist go blank for a few minutes before ‘Save Them’ returned like they’d never been gone. “What happened to Dick?”

He was met with pained eyes from everyone in the cave, save for Bruce who just looked tired. “Jason,” It was Tim who approached him, “I’m sorry Jason, we should’ve told you sooner.”

“Told me what? Where is he? He’s not answering his phone, how bad is it?”

“Jason, Dick’s dead,” Tim let tears fall as he said that, his eyes were red enough that it looked like he’d been doing a lot of that recently. “He didn’t make it out.”

Jason looked around again. Damian looked more shaken up than Jason had ever seen him, so his eyes went to Bruce. “No. Really. Where is he?”

Bruce didn’t answer. Bruce couldn’t even look at him. “We plan to have his funeral a week from now.”

“Then show me a body, because he’s not fucking dead, Bruce. What the hell is going on here?” Jason wasn’t quite shouting, but his voice had definitely raised in volume.

“His body’s at the morgue. I can take you to see it if it’ll stop this.”

“Jason, losing Dick is hard for all of us, you’re not alone.”

Jason zeroed in on Tim as the one most likely to believe him. “No, Tim, he’s not dead. I know that he’s not dead. Something’s going on here.”

It’d be easy enough to tell all of them why he knew that. To show them his wrist, but Dick had never told any of them. Jason never had either, but that was more because it wasn’t their business, and he’d never asked why Dick didn’t tell them. But he presumed there was some kind of reason, so he’d have to just find out what happened to Dick without dropping the soulmate card.

“Todd, just stop!” Damian glared at him. “He’s gone. And we all have to deal with that.” Damian stormed out of the cave, and for a moment it was quiet and then Jason turned back to Tim.

“You believe me, right?” He tried, a little desperation creeping into his tone.

“I’m sorry Jason,” Tim looked to the ground, “They had to stop his heart.”

Jason turned back to Bruce. “Alright then. Show me the body. Let’s go.”

Even after a short ride out of the cave and to the morgue, having the body be there in front of him, Jason still couldn’t believe it.

“So what’s this thing made of?” Jason asked him. “It’s like, really impressive. It seriously looks like a dead person.”

“Jason, stop.” Bruce’s voice was hard, “He’s gone.”

Jason glared at him. “And you’re a liar. You know he’s not dead. Where is he?” Jason’s fist clenched. “Or, if you can’t tell me where he is, at least tell me if he’s okay.” He wasn’t even trying to hide the pleading look on his face as he watched Bruce for any hint of what was going through his head.

“I’m sorry, Jason.” He really did look like he was.

“Bullshit you’re sorry!” Jason shoved his way past Bruce. “I’ll find him myself then.”

He glanced at his wrist again once he was out of Bruce’s line of sight. “Get Back To Him” was now written there. “You’d fucking better, you asshole,” Jason muttered, pulling his sleeve back down.

* * *

Dick stared out the window in the dorm room that Spyral and Helena had given him, hidden away from the rest of the campus. After Luthor had made him flatline long enough to get him out of the bomb, he’d resuscitated him. Dick had been officially dead for only a few minutes. Having only a bit of time to recover, Bruce had pitched this mission to him. Remain dead to the rest of the public and infiltrate the spy organization that was trying to take down the league.

He’d wanted to say no initially, thought of all the people he’d have to lie to, all the people he wouldn’t be able to see, that he would miss with all his heart. But then he thought of his exposed identity, the loss of Nightwing, the loss of being able to do what he loved. Being exposed meant he posed a danger to everyone he loved. Old enemies would try to hurt him through them, new enemies would use them against him. Being a public vigilante just wasn’t an option anymore. But he couldn’t just give up, he couldn’t just accept that his wings had been clipped, and Bruce was asking him to take advantage of his situation and still be a hero.

It didn’t feel right, he could already feel the guilt crawl up his throat, but he’d said yes.

He’d been at Spyral for a few weeks now and it looked like he had Spyral’s trust pretty locked in. Whatever their grudge was against the metas and masked heroes of the world, they were sure that Dick shared in that sentiment due to the details of his ‘death.’

He looked down at his wrist where ‘Find him’ was now inked. It had been that after about a week of him accepting the mission from Bruce. He knew it was selfish to keep the soulmark, and once he finished this mission, he knew Jason wouldn’t forgive him very easily, but he wanted to keep it. He wanted a reminder of who he was before everything happened. Wanted to keep the one thing that was from his old life apart of him.

He also wanted to keep a part of Jason with him. It may have taken longer than was excusable, as well as briefly dying, but he did eventually realize that maybe Tim wasn’t lying about his apparent crush on Jason, which he’d realized was also something more than just a dumb crush, not that he had any plans of ever acting on that now.

But it was fine. He had a mission, and he was going to finish it so fast the family and Jason would barely miss him. He’d be back with them before they knew it.

Hearing Helena approach, Dick quickly pulled his glove back on. He had work to do.

* * *

The first time Dick got to see Jason after everything that had happened, he wasn’t exactly given a warm welcome.

Jason listened in stony silence to what he had to say and then marched over to him, fist connecting solidly with Dick’s jaw.

“I went to your funeral. I looked at a body that looked just like you. And I had to try and figure out what the hell was going on, because it sure as fuck seemed like you were dead, but I still had this mark on my wrist, and you couldn’t be bothered to tell me what was happening? I was worried about you. I didn’t know where you were, or what was happening to you. Do you know how fucked up that is, Dick?” He was glaring at him, but Dick could also see the hurt there too that was causing all of the anger.

“I know,” Dick said with a rub of jaw, guilt laced through his voice. “I know I should’ve, but I didn’t and I’m sorry, but I don’t regret doing it.”

“You don’t regret not telling me? I was going to know you were alive anyway!” Jason looked like he wanted to punch him again, but held himself back this time. “And fucking hell, not even just me. At least I knew. Do you have any idea what you put Tim and Damian through? But I’m guessing Bruce knew all about this, didn’t he? I expect the lying from him, not from you.”

“Bruce asked me to do it, but that’s besides the point. I was the best person to for the job given everything that happened.” Dick took a deep breath and exhaled it in a sigh, “Look, I know I should’ve told you, or maybe have someone magic away the soulmark for a bit so that you didn’t waste so much time looking for me, but someone had to do it.”

“But we could have known!”

“It wasn’t your burden to bear!”

“So it was our burden to bear you dying?! It’s not my burden to bear that I couldn’t tell any of them why I knew you were alive because you hadn’t done it! It wasn’t Tim and Damian’s burden to bear thinking you were gone forever, and deal with me reopening that for them constantly trying to find you!” And now Jason was shouting at him.

“Less people knowing meant that would be putting less people in danger! It was better that way.” Dick took in another deep breath again to try and calm himself. “Look, I didn’t come here to fight, and I definitely didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness. I came to give you this,” he held out a batarang for him. “Remember this? It’s the one you threw at me the first night we went on patrol because you lost our race. I thought you should have it, y’know before I have to leave again.”

“You _kept_ that?” Jason asked incredulously, and then the rest seemed to process, and more quietly he added. “And you're leaving again?”

Dick took Jason’s hand and placed the batarang in it, very faintly he could see something etched in the batarang, something that definitely wasn’t there before. “I’m sorry. I really do miss you.”

“Get back to him,” Jason said softly, fist clenching around the batarang and it looked like it hurt. “That's what my wrist has said since you left. So you get back to Gotham and you just leave all over again? Fuck it.” He sighed, and he just looked sad and tired now, the anger drained out of him. “Do what you've got to. Get back to whoever you need to.” He started walking to the other end of the roof, pulling out his grapple. “I've got shit to do,” he muttered, firing a line.

“Jason,” Dick called out with a sad smile directed at him a thumb rubbing over his own wrist covered by a glove, “I’m sorry this was how you had to find me.”

Jason paused like he might respond, but then seemed to change his mind, dropping himself off the edge of the roof and swinging off.

* * *

Eventually the family were all able to crack the codes Dick had left on the things he gave them, breaking them to find his information, and helped him take down Spyral and Dick got to go back to being Nightwing. Spyral’s influence and their abilities to manipulate minds meant that any proof of Dick being Nightwing had all but vanished.

But things were different now. Duke was part of the family for starters, but while Damian had accepted him back Tim and Jason both seemed more distant.

And Dick was pretty sure any progress Jason had made with Bruce, which had actually been a decent amount, had crumbled. The only silver lining was that Tim and Jason seemed closer now, but it was only so silver when they were closer because of their mutual feelings of being upset with Dick.

And he'd really expected the reaction from Jason, who was easy to piss off and prone to vanishing anyway. Tim though had been unexpected.

He brushed off all attempts from Dick to hang out outside of Nightwing and Red Robin stuff, and stayed professional while Dick tried to converse with him when they were working together.

“I've got plans with Jason actually,” he told Dick evenly this time, and Dick hadn't even known that Jason was in town, which was another blow in and of itself.

But a bat through and through, Dick stuffed the hurt down before Tim’s perceptive eyes could see it and pasted on a smile. “Alright then, you guys have fun.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, stripping off his gear in the cave to pull on civvies. So it was Tim and Jason plans, not Red Robin and Red Hood.

“It’s nice that you guys have been getting along. How-uh-how is he?” He asked as he subtly reached over to grip his own wrist, which Tim’s eyes flicked to immediately.

“You don't have to hide it. He told me,” he said instead of answering Dick’s question.

Of course he’d told him, but well Tim would’ve been Dick’s first choice to tell about his soulmark too, not that Tim would listen to much of what he said anymore. “What’s there to hide? They’re just words on my wrist.”

“And his,” Tim corrected, finishing the laces on his shoes and standing up to leave.

“They’re just words, Tim,” Dick smiled bitterly, “They don’t mean anything if there isn’t some type of connection.”

“I'm aware.” He headed for the exit, but paused after getting on his bike. He didn't look at Dick as he spoke, “He's not great. Kind of a mess actually.”

And Dick’s entire facade just fell. “I- he... oh.” He didn’t know what to say to that, because even if Jason wasn’t talking to him and was mad at him, he’d hoped that he would at the very least be doing okay and taking care of himself. “Is he… are you...” Dick frowned, “Are you guys at least taking care of each other?”

“He's not here that often, Dick. That hasn't changed.” He seemed to decide that was enough conversing because he revved the engine and sped out of the cave, leaving Dick still standing there.

He couldn’t really blame the two of them for being mad at him, he would’ve been mad at himself no matter how necessary the mission was too. No, he understood completely, but that didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt to essentially lose two of the most important people in his life. He flopped down onto the chair in front of the monitors in the cave and stared up at the ceiling that he knew used to house a ton of bats. “Maybe staying in Gotham’s a mistake,” he said to himself.

“It is a terrible city,” Damian’s voice agreed, as he walked into the cave. “But you're not allowed to disappear again.” He leaned over to look at Dick’s face. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks Dami, I appreciate the honesty,” Dick said dryly, sitting up straighter. “I wouldn’t disappear again. I just don’t think I should stay here.”

“Did something happen on patrol with Drake?” Damian asked, pulling up a chair as well.

“Y’know, just the usual. He’s still mad at me, Jason’s still mad at me, I’m surprised you still talk to me, to be honest.”

“Of course I still talk to you,” Damian huffed. “I'm upset because I lost you. Pushing you away seems counterproductive. Besides, you're the only tolerable one, so I can't do what they're doing. I'm stuck with you.”

Dick pulled Damian in for hug with a small sigh, “At least I’ll always have you, Dami.”

“Of course you will.” Damian even hugged him back. “And if those two ignoring you is really bothering you that much, I would be happy to break their legs so that they have to sit and listen to you.” He only sounded half like he was joking.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t do that but I appreciate the sentiment,” Dick chuckled, “It’s fine, they have a right to be mad. I don’t blame them for it.”

“I don't either. But I'm always picking your side over theirs.”

Dick let Damian go to give his hair a little ruffle. “I don’t recommend that type of favoritism for _all_ situations but thanks, buddy.”

“C’mon, let's go. We can watch whatever terrible movie you want. Your kicked puppy look is depressing.” He tugged Dick out of his chair.

Which was really just Damian’s attempt at cheering Dick up. “Thanks Dami.” He let Damian pull him off the chair and out of the cave.

“Don't thank me. I'm just tired of seeing you moping.”

* * *

Sitting around on a rooftop in Gotham chain smoking while he wasn't even in costume wasn't exactly Jason's idea of a good time, but Tim was on a date with Conner, Steph and Cass were out with each other, his latest target was more active during the day, and he'd started to feel suffocated in his safe house. So here he was, a third through his pack, when he spotted a familiar outfit swinging towards him and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He'd really been hoping to not run into any of the other Bats, and especially Nightwing. It's why he was smoking instead of patrolling, but that wasn't enough apparently.

“Hey,” Dick said in probably the most awkward voice he’d ever heard from him.

“Hi,” Jason answered curtly, blowing smoke directly towards Dick and hoping he'd leave.

Dick simply waved it off, but he didn’t make any move to be closer to Jason. This was probably the most space Dick had given him since he still had no idea who Red Hood was under the helmet. “Not working tonight?”

“Tracking a daytime worker,” he said, finishing off the cigarette and starting another one.

Dick looked like he wanted to say something about chain smoking, but he held back. “Have you been taking care of yourself?” He went for instead.

“What's it matter to you?” Jason shot back and Dick flinched just slightly.

“Just checking up, that’s all.”

“You don't have to.”

“Yeah… but I want to.”

“I'm fine. Mission accomplished.” He didn't sound convincing even to his own ears.

Dick’s forehead creased and his brows drew together. “Are you sure?”

“What? I don't look just peachy to you?” He knew he didn't. His hair was getting too long, starting to show how curly it got when he didn't keep up with it, he had dark circles under his eyes, a bruise on his right cheekbone from a fight earlier that week, and some stubble coming in. All the cigarette butts around him at the moment didn't help either.

“Jay...” Dick looked like he was about to reach out for him and take a step closer before he reeled back, remembering why he was keeping his distance. “Are you at least eating and sleeping enough?”

Jason put out his cigarette and stood up dusting off his jeans. It was probably time to get back to his safe house. “Like you've got room to talk about either of those things. I'm gonna go. You should get back to work anyway.”

Jason couldn't really tell what Dick was feeling behind the mask, but it sure wasn't happy. “Don't go on my account; you can keep doing what you're doing. I'll leave.” He went to the edge of the building to shoot his grapple out.

“I was leaving anyway, don't worry about it,” Jason shrugged. He had to remind himself why he was angry, how Dick had told him to his face he didn't regret what he did, because it was kind of hard when Dick looked about as miserable as he felt. Which was an impressive feat while Jason sort of felt like his life was crumbling apart right in front of him. Kori was gone on another planet, Roy was working with the Titans now, and he was in a fight with Dick that somehow led to him being friends with Tim of all people.

“For some reason I don't really believe you, but either way, bye Jay.” And Dick was gone.

* * *

“Fuck. It would be in Bludhaven,” Jason muttered as he clutched his leg to keep pressure on where the bullet wound was.

Bludhaven was still rebuilding, but Dick had gone back there and Jason had been visiting to deal with a nuclear arms trade. Which, he had, there was a body a few blocks away to prove it, but his leg has suffered for it, and now he was sitting in an alleyway considering his options.

He was just coming to terms with calling Tim when he heard footsteps and had a gun trained before he even saw it was Dick.

Not even Nightwing, Officer Grayson apparently. Fuck.

Dick didn't even ask anything just crouched down to look at the wound. “Let’s get you to a hospital,” he said, looking reluctant to touch Jason without permission.

“I don't need a hospital,” Jason argued through gritted teeth. “They have to report gunshot wounds.” He eyed Dick from under the helmet. “Although they'd already have a cop there apparently.”

“This won't go into a police report considering you're not exactly a civilian. I'm not exactly sure how else you'd want help from me.” Which was Dick’s way of saying he didn't think Jason would want him to remove the bullet for him.

Which Jason didn't really, but he'd have to wait at least twenty minutes for Tim to get there from Gotham. “No hospitals. Just get this thing out of me.”

Ever prepared, even as a cop, Dick had what looked like an entire first aid kit stuffed into his police uniform. He rolled up Jason's pants and quickly cleaned the wound before pulling the bullet out with a pair of tweezers. “Sorry, I know this hurts without any anesthetic,” he said as he got it out he bandaged up Jason’s leg. It was all very impersonal considering it was Dick who was doing the patching.

“Thanks,” Jason reluctantly forced out, because Dick had just helped him out, despite the issues they'd been having.

“Of course, any time.” Dick seemed to figure it was okay to help him stand and helped lift him up until he could lean against the wall behind him.

He grimaced as putting weight on his leg shot pain all through it, but braced himself anyway for a walk to… god anywhere he could ditch the Red Hood look and sit down.

He might have said something else, but he was distracted by a flash of red and then there was Wally.

Jason had heard about that. Wally coming back into… existence basically. He didn't quite understand it, but he'd heard that the Flash was hanging out in Bludhaven a lot. Because Wally hadn't forgotten any of them while he was … whatever he was. Someone had said something to him about a speed force, whatever the fuck that was. And everyone remembered him now. Jason figured it happened some time after he left New York, because his last memory of Wally was mentioning him to Dick before getting wasted a few years back, and until a little while ago he hadn’t even remembered that. So Dick had a best friend with super speed that could show up in a matter of minutes again.

“Oh damn, that looks not good. We should get him to a hospital,” Wally said immediately.

Dick’s tense posture, for the most part, melted away with Wally’s arrival. “He’s saying no to a hospital. Probably best to just give him a place to lie low.”

“I can take him to your place. Make sure he doesn't walk around and make it worse until you get back,” Wally offered.

“No, I don't want to- do that,” he muttered the last part because they were already there. And he was being carried bridal style. He hated super speed. He felt a little sick.

“Welp, too late for that,” Wally laughed, “Just chill for a bit, a night off is more likely to save you than kill you right now.”

“Just get me to one of my own safe houses then. I don't need you or Dick babysitting me.” He grimaced as his stomach lurched at the idea of doing that again. “And maybe don't break the speed of sound this time.”

“It’s not babysitting, it’s helping, and Dick’s not off for another hour and then he’s gonna be suiting up for good ol’ night business, so it’ll just be me. Besides, you don’t sound like you’re up for another trip”

“I'm good. If I give you an address to a safe house will you take me there?”

Wally didn’t really look like he wanted to, but relented with a “I’m still staying with you.”

Jason never really knew Wally that well. They'd met a few times, but he was always just kind of ‘Dick’s Friend’ in Jason’s head when he was Robin. He didn't have a solid opinion formed, and so he didn't like the idea.

But it beat sitting around in Dick’s apartment with his best friend waiting for him to come home. And maybe if he was lucky something would try to fuck up Central City and Wally would leave. So, he braced himself for the next speed jump and then listed off an address.

“Okay. How do I get in?” Wally said a second later.

“You put me down and I unlock the door,” Jason answered.

Wally eyed him warily, “Can you stand?”

“I've dealt with worse than a bullet before,” he reminded him impatiently.   

“Yeah, I’ve been told.” Wally reluctantly put him down but stood close in case he needed the support.

It hurt like hell, but Jason stayed on his feet, punching in a code on the door, which didn't open the door but lifted up a panel so he could put his hand print in and then punch in another code. He could see the look Wally was giving him, but ignored it in favor of stumbling into the safehouse and collapsing on the couch.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a little too extra?”

“Roy built a weird army of robots to alert him if any threats came to our island and called them Roybots,” Jason told him. “So yes, but I could be worse.”

“You’re both a little extra,” Wally concluded. “So what’s the deal with you and Dick?” He asked, zipping over to the opposite couch from Jason.

“There's no deal,” Jason said flatly into one of the couch cushions.

“Right, that’s why both of you can barely look at each other.” Wally rolled his eyes at him.

“What, he hasn't caught you up on all of that?”

“No he told me about the whole super spy thing, you and Tim are mad at him. I don't get why you're still pretending like he doesn't exist when it was months ago.”

Jason cut him a fierce glare. “I'm aware he exists. I'm not pretending like he doesn't. But it's not like we're friendly anymore. And this is not a conversation I want to be having with his friend.”

“Ooh, too bad that’s what’s happening. Seems kinda dumb to me for you to push him away when you’re mad at him because you missed him. I mean, yeah there was the lying involved, but since when was that not part of the job?”

“I'm not really a fan of the lying part,” Jason gritted out. “And it's not part of the job for _us_ to be the ones lied to. If anyone can keep a secret it's a bat, so ‘less people knowing’ doesn't fly with me. Not that Batman doesn't lie to us all the time, but I'm not really a fan of him either.”

“Yeah man, I get it. It’s not like you’ve ever lied to him before, right?”

“Anything specific come to mind?” Jason asked. “Because certainly nothing this big that I can think of. Nothing even close.”

“I don’t know maybe something along the lines of resurrecting and not telling him about it.” Wally held up a hand before Jason could interrupt, “Yeah I know, telling him would’ve put a kill to your plans, oh wait would it have? Because I think there was something about him finding out before you actually finished your revenge plan, but he didn’t do a thing to interrupt it except maybe try to show you that he still cared.”

“I told him pretty much off the bat that I'd died,” Jason reminded him. “I'm more of a fan of telling people the truth. It's usually harsher for us after all.” He sat up a bit, giving Wally a sharp smile. “Like you, for example. How's it feel that everyone moved on? Oh sure, you're back now, and I'm sure Dick is all about you visiting all the time, but it's different right? Things have changed here. The relationship doesn't feel quite the same. You had a girlfriend too before everything if I remember right. How's that going? I heard she's dating someone else? Found her soulmate or whatever. That why you're here so much?

“Besides, I don't claim a lot of moral high ground. I kill people. Which you don't like. You're here because you want to help Dick, the more involved you are the closer you're hoping you'll get to how everything was, but you don't like me. You don't get why Dick keeps putting aside the fact that I kill people. There's the soulmates thing, sure, but that shouldn't be enough, right? Trust me, I get it, I don't know why either. Honestly though, I don't think you trying to play doctor on our relationship is going to help you too much. So you can go. I’m not bleeding out or anything. Dick will probably still thank you just for getting me here safe.” He made a shooing motion towards the door.

And Wally did flinch slightly at Jason’s words, but apparently the angrier Wally got, the more stubborn he also became. “You told him you died, but didn’t tell him who you were. He had to find that out himself. You even taunted him about your own death, how’s that for a shitty move. But clearly I’m only trying to help myself, not my best friend, who’s clearly never felt lower than he does right now.”

“What do you know about how low he’s felt? You’ve been gone,” Jason countered.

“No, no, you’re right. I have been gone, and I was sure he’d be fine because he has so many people who he loves and love him back, or wait, are there things that are more one sided than I thought they were? Because instead of coming back to Dick with a smile on his face, he looked like he was halfway to hell.”

“Wow must look a lot like how Tim and Damian looked when they thought he was dead because apparently even they can’t be trusted to be let in on that.”

“Maybe Tim gets to make that argument, but you sure don’t Mr. I-let-everyone-who-loves-me-think-I-was still-dead-even-after-over-a-year-of-resurrecting.”

“You say everyone like it was a big number. I’m not as popular as your friend. Alfred and Dick are about it. And honestly, until Dick reacted so poorly to the mention of my death, I wouldn’t have even put him on that list. As far as I was aware at the time, he hadn’t even shown up to my funeral and was hanging out with the new Robin way more than he ever did me. And it wasn’t long after that that he found out. I had a whole reveal planned anyway, so he was going to know pretty soon, he just sped that up.”

“He hung out with Tim because he regretted not seeing you more!” Wally had pretty much given up calm, “And did you think he was going to play dead for the rest of his life? He was going to come back and apologize once he was done.”

“Oh, there it is. Finally cracked that laid back facade of yours.” Jason grinned at him. “Took more time than I thought it would. Really West, if you want to compare what I did with what Dick did, you’ve got to get right down to the point of it. Dick shouldn’t have forgiven me for that either. For any of what I do. But, I was trying to get away from this whole Batclan thing. Dick’s the one that claims to care so much about everyone, the one who keeps trying to bring people together. I wanted to watch it all burn. I taunted Dick about my own death, I beat Timmy half to death, I tried to make Bruce relive his greatest mistakes. I considered killing all of them before even coming back to Gotham. So you can make all the comparisons you want, but I don't think any of them should want anything to do with me, so it's really not helping your case.”

“Y’know I don’t know why he-” Wally cut off what he was going to say with a snap of his teeth. “Cares,” Wally decided on after a minute, “I don’t know why he cares about you so much.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Join the fucking club. Every time I’ve tried to ask he accuses me of trying to push him away. Probably because I was, but I also wanted to know.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Yeah well, you’ve been doing a damn good job of doing that anyway, not that it’s been as great for you as you initially thought, right?”

“Don’t talk like you know what I’m feeling,” he warned. “Go do your spiel on Timmers. It might work on him, and he’s the one you’d prefer back in Dick’s life anyway.”

Wally looked like he was holding back from blurting something he’d regret. “You’re the worst bat I’ve ever met, and I’ve met Batman. And yeah, guess what you’re not exactly isolating yourself from them when you still communicate with and see them whenever you deem necessary, you’re just isolating yourself from one of them.”

“Two. I haven’t spoken to B since everything with Dick settled down. So if it makes you feel any better, I've done an even better job of pushing Batman away.” He was honestly starting to wonder what he’d actually have to say to get Wally to just leave him alone.

“That’s not a hard one considering all Batman probably did about you pushing him away is brood about it. Dick, on the other hand, still misses you for some reason.”

“If you figure out what that is feel free to let me know.”

“Why did he have to pick the most frustrating person to-” Wally cut himself off mid sentence and he looked like his attention had entirely shifted. There was just the slightest bit of sound that sounded like it was coming from Wally’s comm. “We’re not done with this discussion. I gotta be somewhere.” And he was gone in a gust of air.

“We are absolutely done with this discussion. Good luck getting back in,” Jason muttered to the empty air.

* * *

“You told me you were coming here to make me feel better after you heard I got shot, but all you've been doing in introducing me to video games I suck at,” Jason accused Tim after Tim’s character killed his again.

“How was I supposed to know you sucked at most games?” Tim grinned smugly at him.

“Watch it, Timbo. I can still kick your ass even with a bullet wound,” but it didn't hold any of the threat it used to.

“Really? ‘Cause it looks like I’ve been doing all the ass kicking.” He punctuated that by throwing a combo of punches at Jason’s character.

“That's because you're a nerd, I've never even heard of half of these games.”

“That’s because you live in a box,” Tim looked around the room, “Several boxes.”

“This is a new safe house. Too many people knew the address to one, so I had to get another,” Jason defended. “And unpacking is difficult with a bullet wound in my leg.”

“Well you could’ve asked. I’d be happy to go through all your stuff.”

“Absolutely not, you snooping freak. I'll put it together myself.”

“That just means you’ve got stuff you want to hide.” Tim grinned as he killed Jason’s character again.

“That means I don't appreciate invasions of privacy,” Jason corrected, getting in one hit on the next round before getting killed again.

“Who am I going to tell about your secret dildo collection? Maybe we should play something else,” Tim put his controller down, “You suck at this.”

“It's not a secret collection, and if you want to see it that bad I'll show you,” Jason dropped his controller as well, smirking at Tim.

If Tim hadn’t already put down his controller, he probably would’ve dropped it, “I was joking.”

“And I'm joking about showing you,” Jason answered with a wink. “I'm also tired of video games. Bring Monopoly next time and I'll win at that.”

“You’d have even less luck if I brought monopoly.”

“That's what you think,” Jason answered confidently.

“It’s not what I think, it’s what I know. What do you want to do if you're done with video games?”

“Well now I really want to play monopoly,” he muttered.

“I don’t have that on me, so I guess you’ll just have to wait until next visit.”

“Pick a movie and I'll order food,” Jason suggested, pulling out his cell phone.

“Great, I haven’t caught you up on all the great movies you missed while you were revenge training in the middle of nowhere.”

When Jason hung up after ordering them Thai food, he slumped back against the couch. “By the way, I feel like I should warn you that you might be getting a visit from West.”

“I’m assuming you did?” Tim asked with a raised brow.

“Sort of. I got shot, officer do gooder found me, and his buddy found him. And then wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“You didn’t mention that it was Dick that found you.”

“I didn’t mention anything. You called me about the gunshot wound, remember? I figured he’d told you while Bruce tried to get you to play nice with patrol.” Jason shrugged.

“He didn’t tell me anything. You should know me better than to think I’d be getting second hand information.” Tim was shaking his head at him. “So, what did Wally say to you?”

“That he thinks we should forgive him. So I, very politely of course, told him to fuck off.”

“So polite,” Tim rolled his eyes. “I can’t say I’m surprised. He is Dick’s best friend.”

“Yeah, and something tells me he doesn’t like me that much. Maybe he’ll like you more when he tries it on you.”

“I think that’s a result of your sparkling personality.”

“You say that sarcastically, but you invited yourself here to hang out with me.”

“Of course, who else is going to make sure you stay off your leg? Obviously not you.” Tim then got quiet and looked to the floor. “You know, even though I’m still mad at him, I still worry. He’s not taking any breaks.”

Jason sighed, tipping his head back and staring up at the ceiling. “Yeah, that sounds like him. But he's got West and the batbrat looking out for him, right?”

“I hope so,” Tim’s frown deepened, “At the very least I hope Wally can. Damian’s not exactly the best at checking up on people.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t like you. He’d probably make an effort for Dick,” Jason pointed out.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Tim still looked a bit doubtful though, “At least Dick visits Gotham sometimes. Alf can handle him then.”

“If Alfred can deal with me and the brat, he can definitely handle Dick.”

“Yeah, Dick will be fine.” Tim looked like he really needed to be convinced of that.

Jason patted his shoulder. “C’mon let’s start this movie. What the hell are we watching anyway?”

Tim nodded but knowing Tim the subject wasn’t going to drop from his mind any time soon. “Star Wars, because I know you haven’t seen any of them.”

“That was an active choice, not anything to do with my time away from pop culture. These movies came out before that.”

“That’s just even more insulting. We’re watching at least two tonight.”

“Even Star Wars fans don’t like Star Wars,” Jason complained. “Have you heard them talk about the prequels?”

“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t watch them. They’re iconic movies, practically classics.” Before Jason could get another word in, Tim was turning on the TV, but they both knew that no matter how good the movie was, Dick would plague both their minds for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for description of a panic attack

Months of no development with Jason or Tim, meant that Dick’s inability to take care of himself was still going unchecked by the two who usually checked in on him the most. He ate when he remembered to and slept when he figured he had enough time to or could no longer muster up the strength to stay conscious. He got occasional reminders and check-ins from Wally and Barbara, sometimes even Bruce but those always felt a little hypocritical.  

So with his current state of health of maybe a few measly hours of sleep over the last week and his last meal being maybe ten hours ago, it really shouldn’t have surprised him that when he jumped into a fight with more guys than he’d usually prefer to take on even when he was in top shape, that he didn’t stand too much of chance even if he was more skilled than each of the men individually.

The last thing Dick remembered was the searing pain of a few gunshot wounds along with getting a lot of blood and the consciousness beaten out of him. He did manage to activate his tracker before blacking out. It was possibly the only smart thing he did that night.

The next thing he knew, he was slowly waking to a repetitive beep. A beep he knew too well, the one he heard in his nightmares, and as the fear sunk into him he could hear the beep speed up. The beep that was connected to the rhythm of his heart, and all he could remember was his heart being hooked up to an industrial sized bomb. One that threatened to blow up half the Justice League along with himself and Bruce. Dick couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t even register how violently he shot up as he struggled to bring air into his lungs, struggled to get out of whatever he was hooked to, struggled to stop the goddamned beeping. And it finally stopped when he yanked whatever was clipped to his finger off, but all that did was turn the beeping into the shrill scream that told him he was dead, and in that moment he wouldn’t have doubted that he was just about that. He could feel Luthor’s hand cutting off the air from his lungs and he couldn’t do a damned thing about it and-

“Dick!” The hands on him were on his shoulders and Jason was the one staring at him. “Dick, you're fine, you're safe. I got the tracker signal. You're in the hospital,” he was saying, but it sounded like it was coming from a distance to Dick’s ears that were still focusing on the shrill screaming of his stopped heart.

A shaky hand found its way to the front of Jason’s shirt and gripped it for dear life, as though Jason could help him bring the oxygen back to his lungs. “Make it stop,” he faintly heard himself murmur.

“Make wha- the machine?” Jason didn't hesitate, yanking it forward so the plug came out of the wall and the sound suddenly cut.

And with just that, with only silence left in the room, Dick felt the ghost grip the machine had on him fall away. That didn’t make everything better, all that meant was Dick was supposedly alive and the bomb hadn’t gone off. Dick clung to Jason more firmly, trying to get his breathing back to normal, trying to breathe at all still. “I’m alive.” he managed to say, “I’m alive, so please don’t go.”

Dick could see a struggle in Jason's eyes, but something in him seemed to crack, because he pulled Dick against him in a hug. “Just breathe with me, Dickiebird. In,” he took a deep breath, and Dick could feel the movement of Jason’s chest against his own, “out,” he exhaled, repeating it until Dick actually started breathing with him.

Once Dick’s breathing evened out, his mind was able to catch up with reality and he finally registered that he was in a hospital bed and that tears were streaming down his face along with the pain that seemed to encompass his entire body. It looked like he managed to rip everything attached to him out, including his IV considering the small dot of blood on his wrist. He then registered the iron like grip he had on Jason, and while it was nice to hug Jason again after what felt like ages, he knew Jason was only doing it to make sure he didn’t somehow kill himself in a hospital.

He slowly loosened his grip and pulled away. “Sorry. Thanks for uh, putting up with that.”

Jason hugged him tighter though before he could completely get out of his arms, pulling him back to his chest, which actually hurt quite a bit. “What the fuck were you thinking?” He asked quietly. “Jesus, those guys were still beating you when I got there,” his hands were fists in the back of Dick’s hospital gown.

“I thought I could handle it,” Dick said in a small voice, nose pressed to Jason’s shoulder. He didn’t really feel all that strong in the wake of… well his waking. He could deal with the pain. He probably wasn’t going to be able to get this close to Jason again.

“Clearly not, you fucking-” Jason was cut off by a nurse who gave Dick a disapproving look as she took in all of the stuff Dick had messed up in his panic.

Jason reluctantly stepped back and let her ask Dick questions, but stepped in firmly when she tried to hook him back to the heart monitor.

The two ended up having to step out of the room, and Dick could hear a lot of raised voices, but when Jason came back he was by himself.

“You didn’t have to do that, I probably could’ve handled it the second time around.” Dick did offer Jason a small grateful smile.

“Just like you could probably handle that many guys at once?” Jason raised an eyebrow.

“They were stronger than I expected,” Dick muttered lowly, fiddling with the new IV that the nurse had replaced.

Jason walked over and smacked Dick’s hand away. “Don't mess with that, you moron.”

“It itches,” was all Dick could say to defend himself.

Jason didn't look swayed in the slightest. “That is not an excuse.”

Dick simply just slid back down under the covers with a small grunt. His ribs had suffered a lot apparently. “Did she tell you how long I’ll be stuck here?”

“No, but I'd guess a while. The others are on their way now,” Jason told him.

Dick let a hand ghost over the bandages on his chest and could feel the cast weighing down one of his legs. “I guess I got beat really bad. Thanks, Jason.” It must’ve been bad if Jason was still there.

“I thought-” Jason’s jaw muscles were tight and he was staring at the bed instead of Dick, fists clenching and unclenching. “I can't see my wrist in the Red Hood gear. When I saw you on the ground, bleeding and motionless, back there I thought you were gone.” He was speaking so quietly that Dick had to strain to hear him, but he managed to catch the words. And it was hard to see from their positions, but it almost looked like Jason’s eyelashes were wet and that he was holding back more water.

Dick slowly reached out, letting Jason move away if he wanted, and held his hand, flipping it over so Jason could see the words there, or well word. It was ironic that it said Forgiveness when Dick didn’t really think he deserved it. “Still here. Can’t get rid of me yet.”

Jason pulled him into another hug, holding him as tight as he could without it actually hurting, his face buried in the crook of Dick’s neck. “I'm still pissed at you but- fuck, Dickiebird, I thought you were going to die still thinking I hated you.” And he could definitely feel tears on his neck. He couldn't actually remember ever seeing Jason cry before, and he'd never really thought it'd be over him if he did, but here he was doing just that. And really, up until that moment, Dick was still sure that Jason hated him.

“I don’t blame you. I was pretty mad at me too.” Dick held Jason tighter to himself, despite Jason’s precautions of not disturbing his injuries.

“You were an asshole,” Jason agreed, but he wasn't letting go.

“An asshole that thought he’d lost you by being an asshole.” Dick still wasn’t really sure if his relationship with Jason would improve after this, or if everything would just go back to how it was after he was released from the hospital. Because while Jason was clutching at him now, being taken out of the hospital and being fully healed could change that.

Jason eventually let go of him, pulling back and wiping his eyes quickly, just in time for the doors to burst open and Damian to come running in, Tim fast behind him, and the open worry on Tim’s face was the most emotion he'd been willing to show Dick in months.

“Who did this to you?” Damian demanded.

“Taken care of already,” Jason told him.

Dick just offered them a smile. “Looks like I’m going to be off my feet for a while, guys.”

Tim didn't even try to hide it when tears started welling up in his eyes and for the second time in less than an hour Dick had arms wrapped around him as someone cried on him. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,” Tim sobbed into his chest.

“Hey, hey Timmy,” Dick rubbed his back, trying to hold in his own tears. “What’s there for you to be sorry for? I’m pretty sure I’m the one that’s supposed to be sorry.”

“I-I knew you weren't taking care of yourself, and I still-and now you're-” he was crying harder now, unable to finish his sentence, his hold on Dick a little painful.

So much for holding his own tears back. “It shouldn’t be your responsibility to make sure I’m alive, whether you’re mad at me or not. Besides,” Dick smiled despite the tears, “I’ll be fine in no time.”

“You almost died, Dick! I almost lost you again!” Tim was shaking in his arms and Damian had wrapped his hand around one of Dick’s.

“You’re not going to lose me again.” Despite his attention being mostly taken up by Tim, he meant that for everyone in the room. He had no intention of dying again any time soon.

“Guys, I found the room!” Duke’s voice came from outside, and then him, Steph, and Cass all crowded into the room, and even with all of them there Damian and Tim didn't let go of him. The room definitely wasn't meant for this many people though, and Babs wheeled in a few seconds after them.

“Oh thank god. You just look like death, you're not actually dead,” Steph breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Bruce will be here any minute now,” Barbara told Dick.

“It’s good to see you guys too,” Dick smiled, still holding onto Tim and Damian.

“I'm gonna get drinks for everyone,” Jason muttered, heading towards the door, and it was painfully obvious that the mention of Bruce coming had him all fidgety, and his eyes were still red rimmed from crying just a few minutes ago.

He got through the crowd of people to the door and opened it to find Bruce right on the other side reaching for the handle.

“Jason, good to see you,” Bruce said stiffly.

“I'm not getting you a coffee,” Jason grumbled, shoving past him, hopefully actually planning to come back.

Bruce didn’t even look a little phased, by now used to Jason giving him the cold shoulder, instead he put his attention on Dick. “How are you feeling?”

Dick shrugged, despite Tim’s weight on him. “I’ve felt better but I’ve definitely felt a lot worse, I’ll get past this.”

Bruce nodded and cracked what might’ve been a smile, or a twitch, it was hard to tell. “I’m glad you’re okay. Jason sounded very worried when he called.”

Tim slowly let go, moving to just hold his other hand, a few tears still escaping. “I was surprised you were conscious when we got here based on how freaked out he was,” Tim agreed.

“I thought you were dying. Hence my less than stellar greeting,” Stephanie chimed in.

“I’m pretty sure I looked a lot worse when he got to me than I do now, cleaned up and bandaged.” He didn’t have to see all the bruises to know they were there. He was pretty sure he looked like he came out on the bad end of a fight with a truck at the moment; he couldn’t even imagine what Jason had found of him when he first got to him.

“I don't know, you look pretty bad,” Stephanie told him while Cass took out a compact mirror from her purse and held it up for him to see.

Dick grimaced, “Yeah, that’s going to take a lot of concealer to fix.” He was very black, blue and purple. He was still a little swollen in places too. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

“The important thing is that you’re safe and that Jason got to you in time,” Bruce said with a hand to his shoulder, “But next time, remember that you have backup as an option.”

* * *

Dick woke up later to find Stephanie in his room, scrolling on her phone. After hours of everyone sticking around (and true to his word Jason had brought tea and coffee for everyone except Bruce, and a water for Dick) they'd starting making a shift system because they had to be out protecting Gotham and also Bludhaven since Nightwing was out of commission. It was groups of two during the day, but at night they could only spare one at a time, so apparently it was her turn.

“You should be sleeping,” she told him.

“Maybe you should be too. It’s not every night you get a night off.”

“Yeah, but I'm not the one that got hospitalized,” she pointed out.

“Fair, but I’ve been sleeping a lot today. It’s good to wake up at some point.”

“Resting is good for recovering I hear.” But she shrugged, not looking interested in pushing it any further.

Stephanie hadn't completely cut him off after everything, but she'd definitely pulled back, and Dick had understood. She'd always been more Tim’s friend. She didn't look angry with him right now though as she went back to scrolling her phone.

“How have you been lately? How have you and Cass been?”

“We’ve been alright. She's in charge of Bludhaven right now with Duke.”

“I guess with me out of commission there’s no one better than her to take my place. I hear Duke’s been doing pretty good too.”

“Well, she’s in charge tonight. We’re going to be pretty heavily monitoring Bludhaven. Jason handled everyone who was there when you got the shit kicked out of you, but if anyone left before he got there and started gossiping we don’t want any criminals getting ideas about trying stuff while Nightwing is hurt.”

“Thanks, you guys really are the best.” Dick had really missed everyone.

“You know,” she lowered her phone to make eye contact with him, “if you’d just apologized to everyone, I think all of this would have been a lot less dramatic.”

Dick flinched just slightly. “No one really looked like they were interested in hearing anything I had to say. Well except for maybe Dami.”

“Even the devil child could have probably benefited from one.” Which was big, considering she got along with Damian about as well as Tim did. “And they may have been more willing to listen to you if that’s what you were saying. I don’t think anyone was particularly happy to hear that you told Jason you don’t regret any of it. There’s no real nice way for anyone to interpret that.”

Dick heaved a sigh and looked to the ceiling to avoid Stephanie’s gaze. “Steph, can I be real with you for a second? I still don’t regret the mission or what I had to do to get it done. But I do regret hurting you guys.”

“Then let me be real with you. I also faked my death. People aren’t mad at me because I apologized to them for what I put them through. When you say you don’t regret it, it leaves a lot of room to interpret what all you don’t regret. Just can that part of your apology.”

Dick sat up, struggling only slightly. This wasn’t really a ‘stay on your back’ conversation. “I guess rushing that meeting with him wasn’t ideal. Let me start with you then. I’m sorry I put you through that, I’m sorry I put any of you through that. I’m also sorry I got in this mess because I still think sleep is optional,” that last one had more of a joking edge to it, but he still meant it.

Stephanie smiled at him. “We’re good, boy wonder. It might take some time with the boys, but I think you guys can all get back to normal if you try that.”

“I hope so,” Dick absently rubbed his wrist, “I miss them.”

“Over half of Tim’s angry rants included ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t regret it isn’t an apology, and I didn’t even get that much from him’, so I really think just apologizing will be a huge step for at least Tim, and probably Jason.” She looked at his wrist curiously. ‘Move On’ was written there currently, and Dick wasn’t sure how to interpret it. “Why didn’t you tell any of us that Jason was your soulmate?”

Dick just rubbed his thumb over the words again. Tim probably told her about it, or maybe Jason himself; they seemed close. “At first I just didn’t want B finding out. We can all keep a secret, but it’s harder when that secret has to be kept from Bruce. I wasn’t sure how he’d react, and it was during the time he might’ve, I don’t know, expected me to use the connection to reign Jason in, and I didn’t want use Jason like that.

“After a while, there never really seemed to be a right time for it. It felt like it would’ve been really out of the blue to just announce it while Jason was halfway around the world or on another planet. Besides, I was glad I hid it from B by the time the Spyral mission happened. Pretty sure it would’ve been easy to forget myself without it.” That type of mission, it was easy to forget who he was; he probably would have too if he didn’t have the constant reminder on his wrist.

“Okay, and I get not wanting to tell B, but think about how that probably looked from Jason’s point of view. Jason’s a _super_ private person. When I first tried to start talking to him and asked him his favorite color he told me that wasn’t my business, and even he told his friends about the whole soulmates thing.”

Dick felt a small surge of anxiety. “He doesn’t think-? But I would never!” Dick forced himself to calm down, enough to form a full sentence. “I’d never be embarrassed or disappointed about having him as my soulmate. I couldn’t if I tried.”

“Jason talks a big game, but I don’t think he’s got a super high opinion of himself. I’m not blaming you on this one; I’m just pointing it out so that you’re aware.”

“I can’t think of a single person I’d be happier being connected to,” Dick sighed, “thanks Steph.”

“No need to thank me. They’re both my friends. And so are you. I want all of you to be happy.”

“I feel like I need to thank you. Besides since when were you so wise? I thought you were our resident troublemaker.”

“I like the fun kind of trouble,” she huffed. “All of this is just depressing. Jason hardly even replies to the cool memes I send him now, and Tim's sad half the time time we hang out.”

“I’ll talk to him, hopefully. Besides, I miss him.” Dick paused, “I’ve said that already haven’t I?”

“I’ve gotten that gist, yes,” she agreed.

“Yeah well, I’ll still talk to him. And Tim and Dami. And the rest of the family.”

“Good. Now seriously, get some sleep. That’s when you do the most healing, and I’ve got Bludhaven tomorrow night. And I hate your city. So you need to recover quickly.”

“Steph, everyone hates my city,” Dick laughed, moving to lie back down.

“I know. It’s terrible. That’s why you have to recover quickly. So that you can take it back. We don't want it.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dick chuckled.

* * *

The next time he woke up, he found Jason was the one in the room, dozing in the uncomfortable looking plastic chair, and looking like he might actually fall out of it at any second if his body slumped much further.  

Dick took a moment to just appreciate Jason’s relaxed face despite his discomfort. It was rare to see him with his guard down. He reached out to take his hand, rousing him awake.

He looked around, momentarily confused, and then sat up straighter. “Sorry. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, you just looked like you were going to slip out of the chair. Long night?”

Jason shrugged. “Long few days.”

Dick frowned and retracted his hand. “Jay, I’m sorry,” he said with a small sigh.

“Not totally your fault. I wasn't sleeping enough before you got the shit kicked out of you.”

“Not for that. Well, not just for that. I’m sorry about everything I’ve made you go through. God,” Dick groaned, “I just - I’m sorry.”

Jason clearly hadn't been expecting that, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly in surprise. He took a second to recompose himself, and then just nodded, seeming at a loss for words.

“I should’ve told you this when I got back, fuck, I should’ve told you this properly when I was still mid-mission. I’m so sorry.” Dick had his hands clenched in his blanket. He’d planned to do this a little more eloquently, a little less like he was a mess of emotions, which he was but he hadn’t meant to show it completely.  

Jason continued to just stare at him for a moment, before hesitantly reaching out and taking Dick’s hand and even offered him a barely there smile. “Yeah, you should have said it sooner. I'll accept it now though.” Which was probably as close to forgiveness as one could ever really expect from Jason Todd.

“Thank god,” Dick murmured, barely audible. He turned Jason’s hand over to see his soul mark. He liked seeing their connection inked on Jason. It made it feel more real than just seeing it on his own wrist. “I’m glad that you’re my soulmate. I always have been.”

Jason’s brows furrowed, and his eyes seemed to be searching Dick’s face, trying to find something. “Why?” He finally settled on when he couldn’t seem to find an answer from just looking at him.

“You keep me grounded,” Dick said simply, “You remind me of who I am and who I need to be. I don’t think there’s been a time I’ve ever disliked that it was you. Well...” Dick thought back, “except for when we first found out, I guess. When I didn’t know it was you under the mask.”

“I can imagine that wasn't ideal for you at the time,” Jason acknowledged.

“It was a little worrying when you were someone I thought I couldn’t trust,” Dick agreed, “All of that pretty much melted away when I realized it was you.”

“I noticed.” Jason's lips tilted downwards. “It shouldn't have.”

“Why? Even though you kept doing what you were doing, which we didn’t agree with morally, it was still you, and I know you’d want to do good, even if I don’t like how you’re doing it. I could trust you.”

That didn't seem to completely compute with Jason if the look on his face was anything to go by, but he seemed to reign himself in on asking more questions. “If your apology spiel works on Timmers I'll get him to bring his monopoly game so we can kick your ass,” he said instead, going for a subject change. “We're tied right now on wins.”

Dick just went along with the subject switch, knowing that Jason got uncomfortable about displays of emotion and that he’d been doing a lot of those the last two days. “You can try, I might not have played in a while, but that doesn’t mean I won’t bankrupt you.”

Jason snorted. “Yeah, good fucking luck. Never play scrabble with Tim though. I thought our monopoly games were cutthroat until we tried to mix it up.”

“Bet I could beat both of you at Catan no matter how cutthroat you both are.”

Jason stared at him blankly. “What the fuck is Catan?”

“Sounds like I know what we’re playing,” Dick grinned, “It’s great, you’ll love it.”

“I don't trust you on that at all.”

“Why not? Look at my completely trustworthy face,” Dick pointed himself, holding back his laughter.

Jason pulled out his phone and a few seconds later made a face. “I'm forming an alliance with Timmy, just because you would pick a game where you have to get help from other players.”

And Dick couldn’t help but laugh, which kind of hurt his ribs, but he was fine to ignore it. “It’ll still be fun.”

“Given how Tim reacted yesterday, he should be an easy sell on the idea after you talk to him a bit,” Jason said, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

“Yeah,” Dick looked back down to Jason’s hand, which he realized he was still holding, “Getting beaten half to death shouldn’t have been what got my head out of my ass, but I’m glad I got here somehow.”

“Next time we fight, don't go to such extremes to figure out how to apologize. This hospital doesn't like us, they might not take you a second time.”

“I’ll definitely try, no guarantees though.” He couldn’t laugh, laughing was starting to hurt the more he did it.

“If you put me through this kind of stress again I'll be the one hospitalizing you,” Jason told him.

“I won’t, I promise. You can hold me to that,” Dick looked back up to meet Jason’s eyes. “Don’t be too hard on me though, I’ll still be working in the line of danger, can’t avoid all injuries.”

“A reasonable amount. Like one or two bullet wounds. This is not a reasonable amount.”

“No, I guess it isn’t.” A few broken ribs, a broken leg, a couple bullet wounds, a head wound and a lot of internal bleeding was a bit much, Dick had to admit.

“If it's bad enough that I actually have to call Bruce, it's too much. That's the bar.”

“I think I can manage that.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for a non-graphic almost panic attack

It took some time for things to get back to normal. After all, they’d all gone months hardly speaking to each other. If anything though, it seemed to improve Jason and Dick’s relationship. Jason put in the effort to make himself a bit more accessible via phone when he wasn’t in the area, and while he still wasn’t on speaking terms with Bruce, he was in the area more than he had been before Dick’s ‘death’.

That also meant Dick had to quickly learn to try and hang out with him and Wally separately. He wasn’t sure what exactly had happened between them back when Wally had taken Jason to a safehouse during their fight, but the two had definitely gotten off on the wrong foot somehow. Neither of them were willing to elaborate. He’d tried a few times to initiate group hang outs to rectify this, but him pushing seemed to raise tension rather than lower it, so he pretty much gave up on trying to force the issue and hoped it would work itself out in time.

And things were good with Tim too. Since Tim actually stayed in Gotham pretty regularly that relationship was able to get back on track even faster after Tim had accepted his apology.

It probably helped that through his recovery Jason and Tim had both tried to keep him off of his feet as much as possible, and then tried to keep an eye on him when he was able to crime fight again.

So all in all, talking to Steph seemed to have been the right move.

Jason was currently begrudgingly allowing Dick to take him in for the night. Since his nearest Bludhaven safe house had caught fire while fighting Firefly earlier that day. He had other safe houses, as he’d told Dick, but Dick had half dragged him back to his own apartment anyway because, well, he liked having Jason around and it was as good an excuse as any.

“You know, I have my own clothes at my safe houses,” Jason informed him as he went through Dick’s closet.

“But mine are so conveniently here in front of you.”

“Yours so conveniently don't fit me because you wear them skin tight,” Jason countered, settling on a pair of sweats and a plain black tank top.

“That’s how they look good.” Dick was currently sitting on the edge of his bed, hugging a pillow as he watched Jason.

“On you. I'm built a little different than an acrobat,” he muttered, starting to change.

“I can see that,” Dick said as Jason pulled off his shirt.

Jason shot him a look. “I feel like you should be paying me if you're going to stare at me stripping.” He smirked, making an exaggerated show of flexing his arm muscles as he stretched before laughing and pulling on the tank top.

“Well for that I just might have to shove some money in your pants,” Dick laughed along with him. He did very much appreciate the show though.

“Yeah yeah, I think strippers have a look don't touch thing going for them,” Jason reminded him, changing into the sweatpants next. “You can just hand me a twenty.”

“How about I just use the money and order us some dinner; unless you want the honor of scaring off the delivery boy.”

“I've had takeout twice this week,” Jason made a face. “Do you have anything usable in your fridge?”

Dick really couldn’t remember the last time he properly grocery shopped. “Uh… I have milk?”

Jason stared at him blankly. “We are going to the store.”

Dick looked down at his tank top and boxers then to Jason’s not too different state. “I think most are closed at three in the morning, and that it’ll be a little chilly going out like this but sure, whatever you want.”

Jason dug through the closet again and threw a pair of jeans at Dick. “Put some pants on before we go, dumbass.”

Dick could only laugh. “What? You don’t appreciate my legs?”

“I'm not going to be an accessory to your public indecency,” Jason answered, which wasn’t really an answer.

“Fine, fine, but you have to wear a jacket. It’s chilly out there.” Dick grabbed himself a sweater from the back of his closet so Jason couldn’t complain about him being a hypocrite.

“Now who's not appreciating? My arms wouldn't get us in trouble. My jacket’s more likely to do that,” he said, pulling on his Red Hood jacket.

“Your arms are great and drool worthy and all that but it’s cold out. Wouldn’t want them to freeze off.”

“Jacket's already on, spare me the lecture.” He started walking towards the door. “And you're paying.”

“Does that mean I’ll get another show?”

“No, it means you pay for the first one and get food in your kitchen.”

“I liked my idea more,” Dick jokingly sighed, “But I guess food isn’t too bad either.”

Taking Dick to the grocery store was a lot like taking a five year old to one. He ran off the second he saw something he was interested in, filled the cart with cookies, chips, ice cream and jumbo boxes of cereal, which Jason had the pleasure of having to put back while staring at Dick’s giant puppy eyes. “But Jay, this ice cream is buy two for ten dollars.” They were lucky it was almost four in the morning and there was no one around to witness Dick act like a giant child.

“You don't need two tubs of ice cream, because you'll just eat that instead of real food,” Jason said firmly as he put them both back and dragged Dick by his ear away from them.

Dick yelped and batted Jason’s hand away. “But it was your favorite flavor.”

“I'm aware. We can get _one_ , but you get ice cream at the end of the shopping trip so that it doesn't melt.”

“Okay!” Dick was practically skipping like he’d won something.

“You're so obnoxious, if we ever do this again I'm taking your wallet and leaving you behind.”

“I think it’s good bonding time,” Dick looped his arm with Jason’s as he pushed the cart.

“Really? Because this is not endearing you to me, so I wouldn't call it bonding.”

“Snacking is one of the best mini meals of the day. I don’t know what you have against it.”

“I have nothing against snacks.” Jason pointed to the fruit he'd put in the cart earlier.

“Fun snacks,” Dick corrected, “Nothing against fruit, but cookies, Jay. Cookies are wonderful.”

“In moderation. I looked at your kitchen before we left, Dickiebird. You don't moderate.”

“Hard to say no to a good thing,” Dick grinned. “So, whatcha gonna make, since I know you’re not letting me in the kitchen.”

“Pasta. It will have vegetables in it. And a salad,” Jason answered, picking up some cheese and putting it in the cart.

“Sounds healthy. I’m glad you care,” Dick smiled warmly.  

“Don't throw out the c word so casually,” Jason pretended to be insulted.

“I care about you a lot too, Little Wing,” Dick said sincerely, because he really did.

Jason, predictably, looked uncomfortable with this declaration of positive emotion, and quickly steered the focus elsewhere. “Any pasta type preferences?” He asked, stopping in front of the variety of pasta boxes.

Dick unlooped his arm from Jason’s to grab the box of pasta he only knew as the swirly pasta. “This one. It makes food more fun.”

Jason shrugged, apparently having no opposition to this, letting Dick put it in the cart, and even getting an extra box. “Alright, that's everything. You can get one ice cream.” He gave Dick a warning look as he said one.

Dick still whooped in excitement and ran off to the freezer aisle. “Thanks Jay!”

“How are you older than me,” he could hear Jason mutter as he followed at a much more reasonable pace.

Dick deposited Jason’s neapolitan ice cream into their cart with the brightest grin. “If being old means I can’t have fun then what’s the point?”

* * *

Jason was in the kitchen when he felt the rush of wind that he'd come to associate with super speed and barely resisted groaning in annoyance. Who even visited at dawn?

“Go home, I'm not making enough for a speedster metabolism,” Jason called into the living room. A blatant lie, because he was aiming for leftovers so that Dick would have real food after Jason left.

“Wow, and I thought being a good liar was one of your core skills,” Wally called from the living room where he’d flopped down next to Dick.

“Let me rephrase. I'm not cooking for you. Go home.”

“I don’t know what you two have against each other. What happened that day you took him home?” Dick asked Wally, but was loud enough for Jason to hear.

“He was just being his good old asshole-ish self, right Jason?”

“Can't help it. It's my natural response to an obnoxious prick,” Jason answered with false cheer.

“Must get tiring to be around yourself then,” Wally shot back.

“C’mon guys, you’re two of my favorite people, try and be civil for like an hour?”

“Why are you even here?” Jason asked, leaning into the doorway, ignoring Dick’s request.

“What, I can’t visit my best friend?”

“Most people call ahead. So that they don't show up uninvited while their friend already has someone over.”

“I don’t mind, really,” Dick said, trying to diffuse the tension between them.

“See, I’m always over anyway, more often than you are I’m pretty sure. Besides, someone has to remind Dick that he has shit ta-”

“Wally!” The way Dick was holding that couch pillow looked like he was willing to suffocate Wally with it if he kept talking.

Jason glanced at Dick and then returned his attention to Wally. “No no, go ahead. Shit taste in what?” Jason asked, leaning against the doorframe now.

“He’s just being terrible, ignore him,” Dick tried to wave off.

“Don’t say that like you don’t love me.”

“C’mon West, spill, what were you going to say that Dickie here doesn’t want you to?”

“I don’t know, it feels kinda like a betrayal to my best bud here.”

“That’s because it would be,” Dick looked like he was restraining himself from tossing the pillow at either of their heads.

“If I’m not at least getting to embarrass Dick out of this then I’m standing by not feeding you,” Jason told him, heading back into the kitchen before anything could burn during his absence.

“Shit taste, Dick. Shit taste,” he heard Wally say in a barely there whisper followed by a yelp, presumably finally getting hit by the pillow.

“You’re the worst,” Dick muttered.

“You could do better,” Wally hissed. Jason was inclined to agree. He also wondered if they realized he could hear them. Probably not. He was getting an idea of what they were talking about though, so he didn’t say anything.

“Dick, food’s ready. West, go home. I know Central is different, but I’m sure you’ve got _something_ to do there,” he called a little while later.

“You’re the least hospitable person I know,” Wally seemed to expect that though.

“I’m not trying to be hospitable. Might have something to do with that.”

“Jason, be nice,” Dick chided, “Wally, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You’re lucky I was on my way out,” Wally waggled a finger in Jason’s direction, “remember what I said Dick. Shit taste.”

“Bye Wally,” Dick said firmly.

“Fine fine, I know when I’m not wanted. See you tomorrow, buddy.” And he was gone in a burst of air.

“He’s right. You do have shit taste. Such an annoying friend,” Jason commented as he handed Dick his plate.

“I think I have amazing taste, and he’s usually a pretty great friend.” Dick hadn’t even sat down yet, but he had a mouth full of pasta.

“Don’t talk with your mouthful, Alfred would be ashamed,” Jason reprimanded, moving to the couch because Dick didn’t have a proper table in his kitchen, so the best they had was the coffee table in the living room.

“I can’t help it. If this is what having you over is like, I might need you to move in,” Dick hummed happily as he ate.

“Absolutely not. Your apartment is shit and I hate Bludhaven.”

“Then I guess I’ll just need to have you over as much as possible.” As if Dick didn’t already try to do that whenever Jason was nearby. And Jason usually let him these days.

But that didn’t mean Jason couldn’t call him out on it anyway. “You already do that.”

“I like having you around,” Dick said around another mouthful.

“Uh huh. I'm not a house wife, don't go expecting me to cook for you every time I'm here,” he warned.

“That’s not why I like having you around,” Dick rolled his eyes, “You’re good company. The food’s just a bonus.”

“Whatever you say, Dickiebird,” Jason replied as he flipped through channels.

“I can think of a few people who’ll agree with me.”

“I'm guessing your best friend isn't on that list.”

“No. I really don’t know why. What happened?”

“Nothing.” Jason shrugged. “He was obnoxious and I was myself.”

“That doesn’t sound like the whole story, and both of you are too stubborn to tell me about it,” Dick sighed.

“I mean, I think that's enough of the story when you know both of us.”

“I guess. It really sucks that you guys don’t get along though. I meant it when I said you were two of my favorite people.”

“It took me years to warm up to Timmers. Maybe someday your friend will be tolerable too.”

“I guess I’ll just be hoping until that day.”

Jason finally settled on a channel and set the remote aside. “Look on the bright side: unlike with Tim, I didn't beat the shit out of your friend.”

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for that.” Dick somehow sounded both serious and lighthearted at the same time.

“You shouldn't,” Jason agreed easily.

“And I won’t, but you’re still a favorite.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “The bar is so low.”

“No it’s not,” Dick scooted closer to Jason until their thighs touched, “You’re amazing, and hopefully one day you’ll see that too.”

Jason shifted uncomfortably, but pushed out a laugh anyway. “I already know I'm amazing, Dickie,” he answered with as much bravado as he could get into his voice.

And Dick, thankfully, didn’t push or comment on how uncomfortable he was with that. “Good, because I can’t think of anyone better to share a meal with. Except maybe Alfred.”

“Alfred definitely has everyone beat. And he's the one that taught me how to cook.”

“And thank god one of us was willing to learn that skill.” Dick took a particularly large bite of his pasta and finished it off, which prompted Jason to push a bowl of salad towards him.

“Even Tim can do _basic_ cooking. I think it's just you that's the disaster.”

This time Dick did have too much in his mouth to talk past his food so he just frowned indignantly at Jason.

Jason grinned at him, eyes shining with amusement before getting back to his own food.

And while Dick still shoved him lightly, so light that Jason didn’t even move in the slightest, he didn’t seem all that upset.

“If you’re still hungry after all that, you can get out the ice cream now,” Jason told him when they’d finished the food. “And you’d better bring me a spoon too.”

“What if I wanted the fun of feeding you?” Dick called, already in the kitchen at the mention of ice cream.

“You’d find yourself without a few fingers, so I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“You’re no fun.” Dick still came out with two spoons instead of one while hugging the tub to his chest.

“I’m a grown up, perfectly capable of feeding myself,” Jason corrected, taking one of the spoons from him.

“No fun.” Dick popped open the lid after plopping back down next to Jason, taking a large spoonful and shoving it in his mouth.

Jason rolled his eyes, taking a much more reasonable spoonful for himself. “Whatever you say. So, am I sleeping on the couch tonight since you’re forcing me to stay here?”

“Why would I condemn you to the couch if I forced you to be here?” Dick looked at him incredulously with the spoon hanging out of his mouth.

“Was there a guest room I missed somewhere in here?” Jason asked, looking around theatrically like he might spot a hidden door. Which, he knew there was one, but that was for the vigilante gear, not a room for sleeping in, and was more a closet than a room.

“No there’s one bedroom. I’m letting you take it for the night.”

“Two reasons that’s not happening. I don’t know when the last time you washed your sheets was or what you get up to in that bed. And also, I’m not stealing your bed from you.”

“Wha- I washed them like a week ago,” Because he may or may not have done something incriminating in bed, “And it’s not stealing if I’m offering it to you.”

“I'm good, Dickiebird. I'll take the couch,” Jason replied as he took another scoop of ice cream.

“Just take my offer. I sleep more on this couch than I do my own bed anyway.”

“That's so bad for your back, I'm going to have to insist you sleep in your own bed now.”

“And I’m going to insist that you, my guest, should take the more clean bed.”

“Your guest that you half dragged here despite his insistence that he could stay at his own safe house?” Jason raised his eyebrows.

“Even more reason for you to take the bed,” Dick said around a spoonful of ice cream, “You should be comfortable.”

“I’m perfectly comfortable with sleeping on a couch, I’ve slept on far worse in my lifetime.”

“That means you deserve a bed. Just take it, I insist.”

“Insist all you want, I don’t want your bed.”

“Well I’m not moving there any time soon so unless you want to share the couch with me, you should probably just take the bed.”

* * *

And sharing the couch is exactly what they ended up doing. Not exactly on purpose, but since neither of them moved and the movie on tv was boring, they ended up falling asleep against each other.

Which is how Dick woke up the next afternoon, half on top of Jason, with Jason’s arms wrapped around him. And Dick couldn’t think of a better way to wake up. All warm with Jason looking so at peace and nestled against him. The only thing that could probably beat it was if any this was purposeful, which he doubted it ever would be. For the time being though, he supposed it wouldn’t do any harm to just enjoy all of it.

Dick slowly shifted so he could wrap his arms more securely around Jason and nuzzle himself closer to the crook of Jason’s neck. He found that it was nice to just listen to Jason’s deep breathing as Jason slept, and he felt like he could peacefully doze off like this even though he was generally awake for good when he woke up in the morning.  

It took about twenty minutes for Jason to wake up, probably something to do with the sun coming in through the window directly into Jason’s face, but he slowly opened his eyes and looked at Dick with furrowed brows before he seemed to remember how he got there. “Um, morning. Sorry, didn’t mean to pass out last night,” he mumbled, letting go of Dick to stretch out his body, a few popping sounds audible as he did so, probably from sleeping on Dick’s, admittedly uncomfortable, couch.

“Morning,” Dick mumbled, content to stay as he was, squished into the crack of the couch. “I passed out too, it’s fine.” Just as the sun hit Jason at a particular angle that lit up his face, and made him look like he was glowing, his eyes shining like the ocean on a cloudless day, Dick didn’t think he’d seen anyone more beautiful, and he lost his brain to mouth filter. “God, I’m so in love with you.” It was breathless, but it was still just barely audible.

And Jason seemed to choke on air. “You-I-what?”

Dick’s brain caught up with him after a two second delay. “Oh fuck.” Dick had fucked up. Jason wasn’t supposed to know that. Jason wasn’t ever supposed to know that. He’d never wanted to put Jason in this situation where he knew Jason would struggle to tell him no; that despite what the universe told them, Jason just didn’t feel the same way. Dick already knew that was how it was, which was why Jason was never supposed to find out.

“I- um-I have to leave. Right now.” And Jason turned on his heel and seemed to go for the nearest door. Which happened to lead to Dick’s bathroom. His bathroom that didn’t have a window, because Dick’s apartment was absolute shit, so there was no way Jason was actually leaving through his bathroom.

Dick took a second to chase after Jason, but was met by the door slamming in his face and the sound of the lock turning. “Jason? Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He didn’t sound fine.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“...you know that you can’t actually leave through my bathroom, right?”

“I am aware,” it sounded like it was coming through gritted teeth.

“...Did you need anything?” Dick would be willing to slip things under the door if it helped, but Jason appeared to be no longer responding to him, and from the sound of it had turned on the sink and the shower so that Dick also could not hear him.

And it was normal to be worried, right? A slip of his tongue and he just might have potentially fucked up his hard earned relationship with Jason, a relationship Dick had been content with. Yeah it was normal to freak out a little. He ran back to the coffee table to grab his phone and panic texted Tim and Wally a very curt _Helppp!!_ Followed by _Jason’s locked himself in my bathroom_ , along with another saying _What do?!?!_

 _Why is he locked in your bathroom?_ He got back from Tim.

 _Leave him there._ Wally answered.

 _Hes there cause I accidentally told him i love him_ , he sent that to both of them.

_Pick the lock._

_LEAVE HIM THERE!_

Tim’s idea held merit, but Dick didn’t want to burst in there if Jason wasn’t ready to face him. Dick wasn’t sure if he was even ready to face Jason.

 _WHY WOULD I LEAVE HIM THERE?!?!_ He texted Wally.

_He has to leave eventually. Your bathroom only has one way in and out._

_You underestimate his stubbornness._ Jason would be in there for weeks if he put his mind to it.

His phone dinged with another text, but this one was from Roy, and it seemed to be screen caps of him texting with Jason.

Jaybird: _Dick told me he loves me._

Roy: _Cool!_

Jaybird: _Not cool. Very not cool._

Roy: _Why not cool?_

Jaybird: _Because now I’ve locked myself in his bathroom._

Roy: _...Why?_

Jaybird: _I was trying to leave. It didn’t work out. Help._

Roy: _I am literally on the other side of the country right now. I can call Tim?_

Jaybird: _Don’t drag more people into my embarrassment._

Roy: _I can call Dick?_

Jaybird: _DO NOT_

Roy: _I’m not sure how you want me to help you then._

Jaybird: _I have to go._

Roy: _Are you leaving the bathroom?_

Jaybird: _No. He’s out there, don’t be stupid. I’m going to try and do breathing exercises to fight off my oncoming panic attack._

It was followed by a message that read: _you might want to get him out of your bathroom._

And that was a good enough reason to follow through on Tim’s idea. He made quick work of the lock and burst in to find Jason sitting on his floor trying to regulate his breathing. “Oh my god, Jason I’m so sorry, oh my god.”

Dick crouched down in front of him and did what Jason once did for him, he hugged Jason to his chest and told him to breathe along with him. “C’mon Jay, in and out.”

“What are _you_ sorry for?” Jason asked when he had his breathing under control.

“For putting you through this? For being an idiot? For ruining everything,” Dick’s voice dropped at the last point.

“You-no! No, Dick, I’m the one who just locked himself in your bathroom, and was probably going to stay here for several hours” Dick would have guessed longer, “I can’t believe you picked the lock to your own bathroom, but you didn’t do anything wrong here.”

“You sure?” Dick asked rhetorically as his pulled away from Jason, “because it sure feels like I did.”

“If anyone should be apologizing it’s me. You don’t deserve that kind of reaction. God, you deserve so much better,” he muttered the last part, pulling his knees up to his chest and staring at the ground instead of looking at Dick.

Dick wasn’t so sure Jason was just talking about his reaction anymore. “Well I can’t really think of anyone better. You’re the best for me.”

“I can think of a lot of people. And most of them probably wouldn’t have literally ran away when you said-” Jason looked to be struggling. “…when you talked about feelings.”

Dick pulled away completely, sliding his hand down to hold Jason’s. “It’s fine, I get it, it’s okay.” It hurt, but it was fine. He was fine. He’d expected this.

“No, it’s not. It’s a shitty thing to do to someone.” He glanced up at Dick for a moment, eyes scanning his face before looking away again. “And it hurt you, which makes it even less fine.”

“Jay, I’m okay. I was just worried about you.” It wasn’t like Dick hadn’t expected a rejection. The words had just kind of come out.

“I told you back when we first found out about this soulmates thing that you got the short end of the stick. And I want to! But-the words- I’m not good at this.” He picked up Dick’s hand and showed him his wrist, which currently read ‘Tell Him’.

Dick stared at his wrist in disbelief and then looked back to Jason. “But you- you do?”

Jason opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but when nothing came out dropped his forehead down onto his knees, squeezing Dick’s hand a bit tighter.

And that was enough answer for Dick. Dick felt relief rush through him, he didn’t think he could be happier, he could feel tears running down his face. That was until out of the corner of his eye he saw the words on Jason’s wrist change and he couldn’t help but laugh a little, which had Jason’s head snapping up to look at him.

Dick pulled Jason’s hand up to show him his wrist, and written there was just simply ‘Jason Todd _._ ’

Jason frowned at his wrist. “That's stupid. I'm right here.”

“And you just happen to be exactly what I want,” Dick grinned.

“Yeah, but I'm literally right here. You're physically touching me. It's a stupid goal because I'm already here, you've already achieved it.”

“Have I?” Dick leaned his forehead against Jason’s, and got to watch from up close as Jason’s face turned red. “Can I kiss you now?” Dick asked barely above a whisper.

Instead of answering, Jason closed the distance between their mouths, the hand that wasn't holding Dick’s moving up to tangle in his hair and hold him close. Dick didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, a hand finding its way to Jason’s neck. It was everything Dick ever wanted and more.

Dick reluctantly pulled out of the kiss when his knees started to complain from being knelt down on the bathroom floor. “I think my goal is perfect,” he whispered against Jason’s lips.

“I'll try to work on mine,” Jason mumbled back, running his fingers through Dick’s hair.

“Take your time, I can wait. What I can’t wait to do is getting off the bathroom floor. You wanna continue this on the couch? Maybe in the unused bed?”

Jason looked at him skeptically. “Is your bed actually more comfortable than your couch?”

“Yeah, believe it or not I actually like to sleep comfortably sometimes.”

“Sounds fake, but okay,” Jason agreed, slowly getting to his feet and holding out a hand to help Dick up.

Dick let Jason pull him to his feet, and he couldn’t help but smile at him and lean into his space even as he led him towards his room.


	7. Chapter 7

“Okay,” Dick said as he sat both Jason and Wally down on his couch, “We’re trying this one more time. You’re both going to say something nice about each other.” He looked at them expectantly as they stared each other down.

Finally, after a solid minute of this, Jason smirked and Dick knew it wasn't going to be helpful. “If I weren't seeing your best friend I’d hate bang you. Does that count?”

“Same,” Wally said at the same time Dick screamed “No!”

“We’re working on nice! How was that nice?” Dick all but groaned.

Jason shrugged. “It means I think he's hot enough that I'd still fuck him even though I don't like him. That seems nice to me.”

“I can live with that,” Wally shrugged, “Your bad taste is completely based on personality. He’s a good catch when he doesn’t talk.”

“You’re both awful.” Dick didn’t know why he loved either of these two so much.

“You asked for this,” Jason reminded him.

“No I asked for you guys to get along.”

“Sorry dude, pretty sure that’s all we got in us.” Why couldn’t either of them be the least bit helpful?

“I'm not even good at saying nice things about people I like,” Jason pointed out. “I'm honestly not sure how you expected this to go.”

Even if Jason did have a point, that didn’t mean Dick couldn’t be disappointed in him. He looked expectantly at Wally.

“What?” Dick just kept staring, “okay fine he uh-“ Wally gave Jason a scrutinizing look and he looked like he was having trouble coming up with anything. “He has hair.” Jason doubled over laughing, and as nice as that was Dick wasn’t going to let it distract him from his mission.

“How is that a nice thing to say to him in any way?”

“He coulda come back without any,” Wally shrugged, “it’s nice hair, and he thinks it’s funny, does that make it better?”

“No!”

“Okay okay,” Jason held up placating hands. “I've got an idea. Dickiebird, you're going to hate it, but you wanted bonding.” He turned to look Wally directly in the eyes. “Wanna swap embarrassing stories about Dick?”

“You’re right, I hate this,” Dick said, but it was already too late. Wally had that glint in his eye, he was about to unleash all of Dick’s adolescence.

“Oh boy, do I ever. Let’s start with the time he met Kori and walked off the side of a building.”

“Let’s not.” This was going to be a long day and if Jason and Wally didn’t come out of it at least tolerating each other then Dick was murdering both of them.

“He once tried to sext Babs and ended up sending a dick pic to Bruce while we were in the field,” Jason traded back immediately.

“Once, on a mission, he forgot to use the special glue stuff you guys use for your masks on his booty shorts and he spent the entire mission with a very obvious wedgie.”

“I hate both of you.”

“He drunk texted Tim a bunch of his sexual preferences a few years ago,” Jason continued like Dick hadn't said anything.

“You know about that?!” Dick asked incredulously.

“Yeah, he sent it to me a few days ago.” Jason glanced back to Wally. “I'll trade you screen shots for another story.”

“Hell yeah, oh oh one time during Titan days me and Roy walked in on him full Robin costume with his hand down his scaly shorts.”

“God no not this story.”

“Please continue,” Jason looked to be in the edge of his seat.

“He tried to go for the ‘it’s not what it looks like’ without taking his hand out while a picture of Kori was next to his bed, and all Roy could say was ‘don’t those shorts scratch or something?’ I think he died a little that day.”

“I did.” Dick took a couch pillow and tried to suffocate Wally with it. Which left Jason free to pull out his phone and send the pictures to Wally, and Dick wasn’t even sure when they exchanged phone numbers, but sure enough Wally’s phone dinged with the alert.

“I’m breaking up with both of you,” Dick was practically on top of Wally, who was just laughing at him. “You’re no longer my best friend and you,” Dick directed to Jason, “are no longer the love of my life.”

“Huh, then I guess there's nothing left to lose reading some of these. I hear you haven't seen them.” Jason cleared his threat dramatically. “Timmmmmyyyyyyy you don't undersan- I believe you meant understand- how bad I wanna just lick his arms.” Jason smirked at him. “A little weird, but I'd allow it. I also like the humble brag of ‘he could literally bend me in half and I'd be super into it’.”

“Oh my god.” Dick was off Wally -who was laughing, the bastard - and in Jason’s lap in an instant, reaching for the phone. “Babe, don’t do this to me.”

“Oh Dickie, you could never get into my phone, and I have all of this memorized,” Jason told him, easily handing over his locked phone.

Dick whined, burying his face in the crook of Jason’s neck, defeated.

“Oh man Dick, you’re into more stuff than I thought,” Wally laughed scrolling through the pictures. “Role playing? Damn. Can’t say I didn’t expect the voyeurism and bondage.”

“I thought you both liked me,” Dick grumbled.

“I do. Which is why I followed the instructions in that one text about handcuffing you and then rimming you until you came dry the other day. That was when Tim sent me the screenshots.”

“Clearly you don’t, or you wouldn’t be putting me through this right now.” Sure the sex had been great, but Dick was too preoccupied with wanting to bury himself in a hole to care.

“You wanted me to bond with your friend.”

“Yeah, and we’re bonding through our only common thing: you.”

“You couldn’t do it by just being civil to each other?”

“We haven't insulted each other once since we started this; I would argue that we are being civil,” Jason ran his fingers through Dick’s hair soothingly even as he teased him.

“Start something else.”

“Like what?” Wally was still engrossed with the screenshots of Dick’s drunk texting. How many were there even?

“I don’t know, do what normal people do and bond over dumb movies.” Dick was starting to relax a bit though with how Jason’s fingers were carding through his hair.

“That won't work. Tim insists I haven't seen any good movies. He's calling it a work in progress. A side effect of not owning a tv before being Robin and then dying and then being too busy to keep up with pop culture. Tim says that's not an excuse though.”

“Then that’s what we’re doing.” Dick stretched for the remote on the coffee table so he wouldn’t have to get off of Jason’s lap and turned on the TV. “Wally can pick.”

“I liked what we were doing before way better,” Jason complained.

“I didn’t. You’ve got enough blackmail. Both of you do.”

“No such thing as too much, dude, but I can give you a break for now,” Wally said, stealing the remote from him.

“Traitor,” Jason muttered.

“I think you’re more the traitor,” Dick huffed, “I should make you sleep on the couch tonight.”

“I’d just go to my own safe house,” Jason answered, watching Wally flip through movie options critically, clearly ready to protest if it looked like something he wouldn’t be interested in.

“You’re the worst.” It was hard to sound mad at him when he was cradled in his lap though.

“Ooh, this one,” Wally stopped at a pixar movie.

“I don’t think Jay’s watched Nemo yet, so I say yes.”

Jason frowned. “That’s a kids movie, right?”

“It’s a _good_ kids movie,” Dick said at the same time Wally retaliated with: “It’s an everybody movie, excuse you.”

“...it’s the one about the fish, right? That’s what we’re talking about watching here?”

“Yes,” They both said at the same time. Jason really had missed out on a lot if he didn’t at least understand the magic of Pixar, and Dick couldn’t say exactly when Finding Nemo had come out, but he was pretty sure Jason was still alive at the time.

He rolled his eyes, but apparently didn’t care enough to get out from under Dick to take the remote from Wally. “Sure, whatever.”

“You’ll like it, I promise,” Dick punctuated with a kiss to his cheek before shifting a bit to see better while still cuddling Jason.

“If you say so,” Jason muttered, but settled into the couch as well to watch.

* * *

“Why can’t you just tell them yourself?” Jason asked again as they pulled into the parking garage of the manor, looking more and more like he was ready to bolt given half a chance.

“Because it means more if we do it together.” Dick took Jason’s hand in his once they were out of the car so Jason couldn’t run away.

“I don’t want to be here. I’m still not on good terms with Bruce just because you and I made up you know.”

“You don’t have to like him to tell him we’re together. Besides, don’t you want to at least tell Alf in person?”

“I’d be fine with telling Alfred, but that doesn’t have to involve telling Bruce.”

“We can’t keep him in the dark forever, he’s going to find out eventually, and I’d rather he do that on our terms than him just showing up one night to talk about it.” Dick was practically pulling Jason along with how much he was dragging his feet.

“He's Bruce. He probably already knows,” Jason protested.

“We should still tell him,” and then it was too late for Jason to run because Dick was ringing the doorbell and there was Alfred. “Hey Alf.”

“Master Dick, Master Jason, a pleasure to see you both.” His eyes trailed down to their linked hands. “I assume this visit comes with some news.”

“Can I just have tea with Alfred and tell him and then leave while you tell Bruce and the others?” Jason tried to bargain, looking to Alfred for help.

“It means more if we tell him together,” Dick insisted.

“I believe Master Dick is right about that,” Alfred said as he let them in and led them towards the grandfather clock that led to the cave. “I would be happy to join your conversation with Master Bruce if you would prefer.”

“God yes, please do.”

Dick thankfully didn’t have to drag Jason down the stairs, the addition of Alfred taking some of his nerves away, which came right back the minute they saw Bruce in his chair. He was thankfully not the only one in the cave, Tim, Damian and Cass also there sparring.

“Hey guys, miss us?”

“No. Jason’s been texting the group chat since you told him you guys were coming,” Tim answered.

“What group chat?” Damian asked incredulously.

“The Meme Team, as Steph named it. She got tired of sending individual memes to me, Jay, and Cass, so she made a group chat. You can’t be part of it,” Tim answered.

“Like I’d want to be in a group chat with you four,” he muttered. “No offense, Cain. You’re okay.”

“It’s fine,” Cass answered, not appearing bothered.

Bruce simply looked at them expectantly, ignoring the banter from the rest of the group.

“Hi to you too, Bruce.” Now that Dick was faced with him, he wasn’t sure how confidant he was in this. Alfred, as helpful as ever, gave him a push.

“The young masters come bearing news, it appears.” Which got a slight uptick of a brow from Bruce, which was as much acknowledgement as any.

“Yeah, we-”

“Wait! Wait!” Stephanie came running down the stairs, skidding to a stop in front of them. “I didn’t miss the announcement, right? I brought my phone to record it.”

“Of course you did.” Dick shouldn’t have been surprised.

“You didn’t miss anything,” Jason told her when she looked at him expectantly.

“Awesome, great, and I’m recording so you guys can go now,” She aimed her phone towards them.

“Right.” At least with Steph’s dramatic entrance, Dick’s nerves felt like they had calmed a little. “So Bruce, guys, we thought-” he got an elbow to the ribs from Jason, “-okay, I thought that it was about time that we told you all that- well uh-” he cleared his throat and he was pretty sure the hand that was holding Jason’s was gross and clammy as hell, “Me and Jason are together.” And then all hell broke loose, but not from Bruce like he’d expected.

“You’re what?!” Damian almost shouted, and Steph swiveled around to focus her camera on Damian who was currently being restrained by Cass seeing as it looked like he’d been about to throw a staff at Jason.

And then Damian was glaring at Tim. “This is your fault! You put ideas into his head when you mentioned him having feelings for Todd.”

Tim held up his hands. “It is not my fault. I came to that conclusion with evidence, it wasn’t a suggestion.”

So maybe Dick had been too worried about how Bruce would react and he forgot about how Damian would. He let go of Jason’s hand to crouch in front of Damian. “This isn’t Tim’s fault, Dami. I want to be with Jason.”

“That’s stupid; you could do better,” Damian dismissed immediately.

Cass let go of Damian to grab Jason, who was edging towards the door.

“Thanks Cass,” Dick said, before turning back to Damian. “No Little D, he’s the best I could ask for.”

Damian frowned at him. “Blatantly false.”

“You don’t think anyone is good enough for Dick,” Tim pointed out.

Damian seemed to consider that point. “I have yet to meet someone who is,” he agreed.

“Little D,” Dick really hoped this point would drive it home for Damian that Dick couldn’t want for more, “Jason’s my soulmate.”

“Soulmates are stupid. That doesn’t mean anything. My soulmate’s an idiot,” Damian grumbled, but seemed less like he was restraining himself from strangeling Jason.

“Your what?!” Stephanie burst out, and it looked like she was trying to zoom in her video on them. Even Bruce looked a little caught off guard.

“Wait, wait, Dami, you’ve met your soulmate?” All of Dick’s thoughts about himself and Jason flew away, completely replaced with Damian. “Who are they? Are they nice? Did they hurt you? _Did you hurt them_?”

“It’s just Jon,” Damian brushed him off and rolled his eyes.

“Aw, Jon’s adorable.” And Dick was hugging Damian, “Last I checked, you guys were getting along great. Well, great for you.” Just a little behind him, Dick could hear Bruce mutter something about talking to Clark.

“Yes, we’re getting along, but that’s not the point.” Damian struggled in his hold. “This is about you and Todd.”

“Right right,” Dick didn’t stop hugging Damian though, “Dami, we’re happy.”

Damian glared at Jason over Dick’s shoulder. “If you hurt him I will personally rip your spine from your body.”

“Violent. Shouldn’t we be the ones to get along with that kind of temper?” Jason replied. Damian looked repulsed.

“Well that’s as much acceptance as we’re going to get for now from Dami.” Dick let go of him and reluctantly looked to Bruce, “Is… that the only negative reaction we’re going to get today?”

Bruce being Bruce, simply looked him straight in the eye and said “I knew.” Because of course he did.

“Since when?” Dick all but shouted.

“Since Spyral. Jason was too convinced you weren’t dead. It was only a matter of time before the two of you decided you wanted a relationship.”

“I psyched myself up for nothing.” Dick felt like collapsing onto the floor.

“In any case,” Alfred cut in before Dick could make a new home on the training mats, “I do hope you’ll both join us for dinner. I believe we have enough to make both your favorite meals and desserts.”  

“Dinner would be great Alfred,” Dick sighed, deciding to lean against Damian rather than lay on the mat.

“Excellent. Would Master Jason like to help with the preparations?”

“Anything to get me out of here,” Jason muttered, quickly following Alfred out of the room, calling an “I told you so, Dickiebird,” over his shoulder.

“It was still important to tell him!” Dick called after him, but he was already out of the cave.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Bruce said, monotonous as ever and turned back to his computer. “I’m happy for you both.”

Really, what more could he expect from Bruce? That alone was more than he’d expected actually. “Thanks Bruce.”

“Are you guys going to hug?” Stephanie asked from behind her phone. “I feel like you’re supposed to hug. And also Jason and Bruce should have had a tearful reunion, but I’ll let it slide because Jason’s making food.”

“Bruce isn’t too much of a hugger. Besides,” Dick watched Bruce walk off with a phone pressed to his ear, “I think he’s busy.”

They faintly heard Bruce greet Clark a second later before he was out of hearing range.

“Well, this was way less interesting than I hoped. Except for everyone’s reactions to the Damian revelation. I’m screenshotting all of those,” Steph informed them.

“Good luck getting those past Damian,” Dick pointed towards him where he was was eying the phone. “I’m gonna try and sneak some whipped cream without Jay or Alf noticing.”

Steph tossed her phone to Cass right as Damian tried to make a lunge for it, and Cass dutifully caught it for her. “I think you’ll have less luck with that idea than I will with my phone. I’m teaming up with my girlfriend; you’re going against your boyfriend and Alfred. Your doomed.”

“It’ll only hurt if I fail. Good luck with your phone.” And with that Dick was leaving the cave to sneak into the kitchen.

He only managed to sneak a finger full of whip cream, but before he could actually put any of it in his mouth Jason grabbed his hand and sucked it off himself. And since Alfred was busy messing with the stove Jason wasn't even trying to be subtle what he was imitating with it, before pulling back. “Now get out. We're trying to cook in here.”

Dick leaned in to lick the small dot of cream that caught at the corner of Jason’s mouth. “But I’m feeling kinda hungry, and you’re a tease.”

“Hmm, sounds like you shouldn't have dragged me here against my will.” Jason pushed him towards the door.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Dick was dragging his feet as Jason pushed him.

“Wrong. It was terrible.”

Dick turned around to wrap his arms around Jason’s neck and let Jason walk him backwards. “You didn’t even get hit by a wild Damian.”

“You made me be around Bruce, you're barred from this kitchen.”

“But you’re cooking with Alfred. That’s always nice, right?” Dick felt his back hit the door.

“Unless Bruce leaves to talk to Superman, I'm going to have to sit through dinner with him and Damian.” Jason reached around him and opened the door, pushing Dick through it.

Dick still hung off of Jason even as he was pushed through the threshold. “How about a reward later for being good?” Dick leaned up to brush his lips against Jason’s.

“You know I think that's a great idea, I've even got something in mind.” Jason moved so his mouth was brushing the shell of Dick’s ear. “Clean your fucking apartment,” he said, pulling back and unwinding Dick’s arms from around him.

“Ha ha,” Dick rolled his eyes, “I’ll think about maybe doing both.”

“Just go interrogate Damian about Jon like I know you want to. I'm busy.”

“Fine fine.” Dick still leaned back in to give Jason a proper kiss, “Have fun with Alf.”

“I will. Bye Dick,” Jason finally managed to close the door on him.

* * *

Alfred was gone for less than a minute to go check on everyone while things cooked before Bruce walked into the kitchen, and Jason wasn't surprised, but he wasn't happy about it either as he pretended to be absorbed in stirring a pot.

“You seem happy,” was all Bruce said.

“That's my own business.”

“Jason, despite how you think I may feel, I do actually care about your well being.” Bruce might have sounded a little strained.

“You've got a great way of showing it,” Jason muttered sarcastically.

“You’re still mad about Dick,” he concluded.

“I'm still mad about a lot of things. If you want to go for the most recent, yeah. I'm still mad at you for that.”

“It was a mission that needed to be done with as little people knowing as possible.” Blunt as ever without a hint of emotion. Classic Bruce.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Jason sneered. “It's all fine as long as Batman’s always in the loop.”

“Look Jason, I didn’t come up here to argue.”

“Then what exactly did you come here for?”

“I came to congratulate you on your relationship.”

That… was definitely not what he was expecting, and he was sure it showed on his face.

“Despite what may have happened between us, and I’m sure Dick refrained from telling the family about your connection due to fear that I would use it against you, which back during your more rage filled days I might have considered it, I’m glad that you’ve found some happiness. I’m happy for you, son.” While Bruce didn’t look like he was struggling with the sincerity and emotions, he didn’t look like it was the easiest thing for him to do either.

Jason searched his brain for something to say to that, and he thought it was a little unfair that Bruce had gotten the time to compose what he wanted to say before coming in. The best he could come up with was a stiff, “thanks...I guess.”

And that was apparently all the emotional output either of them were capable of because Bruce nodded and gave his shoulder a pat that Jason just barely managed to not flinch away from followed by “I’ll see you at dinner,” and turned to leave.

Almost as soon as he was gone Alfred came back and Jason side eyed him. “You did that on purpose.”

“I can assure you I have no idea what you are talking about, master Jason.” The slightest uptick in the corner of his lip said otherwise.

“Sure you don't,” Jason muttered, but got back to cooking alongside Alfred like old times anyway.

* * *

Tim tried to invite them to stay later for a movie night, but Jason seemed to have reached his limit on hanging around the manor with so many bats, so Dick dutifully took him back to his place and forced him to cuddle. Not that Jason was actually trying to get out of it so much as just complaining.

“Bruce approves,” he told Dick when he got bored with the movie Dick had picked.

“Yeah, he told me after you left the cave.” Dick shifted to look at him, perfectly fine to ignore the movie. “Did he talk to you about it while you were making dinner?”

“Alfred left me alone and he came to chat for a few minutes.”

“Completely coincidental, right?” Dick chuckled.

Jason rolled his eyes. “Can't believe Alfred betrayed me like that.”

“You know he’s all about keeping this family together. Did Bruce say anything else?”

Jason shrugged. “That I seemed happy. It wasn't a very long conversation.”

“Well, with all the emotions that goes into a talk between the two of you, I’m pretty sure a few minutes is all you guys can handle,” Dick grinned cheekily at him, which got him an elbow to the ribs.

“I'd rather talk to literally anyone else about feelings than him,” he muttered, sinking lower into the couch.

“And he’d rather talk about feelings not at all. At least you got through it without trying to strangle him.”

“For you,” Jason informed him. Which was a pretty bold declaration of emotion from Jason Todd.

Dick felt his heart swell. He leaned up to press a kiss to Jason’s cheek. “I love you too.”

Jason still turned a little pink every time that Dick said that to him, but he didn't try to run or panic anymore. This time he even gave Dick a small smile and gave him a quick kiss as well.

Dick snuggled closer to him, the movie completely forgotten. “You wanna hear about the stuff I got outta Dami?”

“You managed to get the brat to talk?” Jason asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“I have my ways.”

“So, he dating Superman’s kid or what? And how does he feel about having the same taste as Timmy?”

“Not yet, they’re both apparently still at the stage of trying not to fight each other every chance they get, but they’re close enough that Dami actually admitted to trusting Jon. I was pretty shocked. He’s also insisting he has the better soulmate to Tim since his soulmate isn’t a clone.”

“I don’t know. I’ve met Conner once. I threatened to stab him in the neck with kryptonyte because I saw him touch Timmy’s ass and he bought me pancakes as a peace offering. I prefer Tim’s mini-Clark.”

“I’ve met both a handful of times. Conner’s head over heels for Tim, sometimes literally, he just doesn’t always know the best way to express that. Jon, on the other hand, is still ten. He still thinks dating is gross and that Damian’s an obnoxious brat, which he can be, I know. He has a tough time saying no to Dami, though. It’s pretty cute.”

“I still prefer the one that bought me pancakes. It’s a little insulting that he thinks I can be bribed into not killing him if he hurts Tim, but I will still take the bribes until I need to kill him for hurting Tim.”

“I don’t think you’ll need to do any killing. They’ve been through a lot, any bumps they go through won’t be too hard for them to solve.”

“They better. I don’t want to deal with Clark if I have to kill his clone son. Last time I saw him he followed me Kori and Roy from space to our island, and then almost threw me across said island. Granted, I tried to shoot him, but he’s bullet proof. I think he should have taken into account that I know that, and that it was more of a ‘go away’ than an actual attempt to hurt him.”

“I don’t think I even want to know about why he needed to follow you. Don’t forget, if you kill Conner you also have to deal with Lex.”

Jason looked almost excited by that, which Dick really should have expected. “You promise?”

“You’re not supposed to be excited about having to deal with a psychotic billionaire, hell-bent on taking over the world... or killing Clark. I can never tell which one he wants to do more.”

“Okay, but consider the following: I really want to fight his robot lady. And then him.”

“ _Why?_ ”

“Because she’s a robot lady,” Jason replied like this should clarify everything for him.

“She was built to be able to protect him from Superman. You’re crazy, y’know that?”

“Yes, I’ve been told. Do you think Lex still has the robot suit?”

“Last time I visited him, he did. Can’t imagine he’s gotten rid of it.”

“That settles it. I’ve got to kill Conner.”

Dick flicked his ear. “No killing Timmy’s boyfriend.”

“Tim will understand. I saw him throwing darts at a picture of Lex’s face after a meeting with him for Wayne Enterprises.”

“Just fight him without hurting Tim. Bring Tim along.” Dick wasn’t too sure how to feel about Lex anymore. After what happened with him killing him and then reviving him, it was a complicated issue in his mind. He still hated Lex, he just didn’t know if he wanted to fight him anymore.

“Getting to him is too much effort. That’s why I need to kill Conner. He’ll come to me.”

Dick heaved a sigh. “Honey. Babe. I like having you around. Stop coming up with ways to die.”

“I guess Conner did make me food that one time. Fine.” Jason laid his head down on Dick’s shoulder.

“Good,” Dick pressed a kiss to the top of Jason’s head. “Besides, if you killed Conner the first person to come after you wouldn’t be Lex or Clark, it’d be Tim and he knows how to get you when you least expect t.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’m always ready for any of you to betray me. Except Alfred, his betrayal caught me off guard. I know exactly how each of you would try to attack me.”

Dick sat up, clearly a little shaken by that reveal. “Wha-? Even me?”

“Yeah,” Jason shrugged like it was no big deal. “Especially you. You’d have the best chance at it.”

“But why would I?”

“It’s not about why, it’s about being prepared for it,” Jason answered, trying to bring Dick closer again.

“Well are you prepared for _this_!” Dick pushed Jason onto his back and climbed on top of him, blowing a raspberry at his neck.

“Yeah, actually, because you asked before doing it,” Jason told him, rolling over so that Dick was laying on his back, squishing Dick between him and the couch.

Dick wasn’t bothered by the weight and just reached up to loop his arms around Jason’s neck. “Well how about this?” He pulled Jason down for a kiss, “or this?” He pressed a kiss to his neck.

“This isn’t exactly attacking me,” Jason answered, kissing him back.

“Isn’t it?” Dick opened his legs so Jason could fall between them and wrapped them around Jason’s waist. “I’ve got you trapped,” he then leaned in to nip Jason’s lip, “And I’m biting.”

Jason smirked at him. “You using your legs was definitely part of the prediction, but it goes a little differently. We don’t end up fucking in that scenario.”

“Well, what do you see happening in the current scenario?”

“A relocation to your bedroom because your couch is still the worst.” And then Jason was standing and taking Dick up with him since he still had his legs around Jason.

“I think I like the way that’s going to turn out.” And Dick leaned in to kiss him again even as Jason made his way to the bedroom.

* * *

Jason’s hair was oddly soft for someone who didn’t believe in conditioner until Dick introduced it to him. During moments like this where Jason laid his head in Dick’s lap and read, Dick was content with just keeping the silence and running his fingers through his hair as he watched Jason’s facial expressions change. Maybe he was also trying to get it to stick up in dumb ways, but Jason didn’t have to know that. Although, at this point he probably did and was just letting Dick mess with it anyway. Besides, even if his hair was stupid, Dick still couldn’t think of anyone more handsome.

Jason finished his chapter and turned his head to glance up at Dick, offering him a soft smile. “I love you,” he said quietly.

Dick thought he might’ve felt his heart stop for a second, he might’ve also let a few tears fall loose, but he couldn’t really tell past the pure joy that enveloped him. He’d contented himself to accepting that Jason might never say it. He’d told himself he didn’t need Jason to because he knew that he did, the words themselves weren’t that important. He was clearly wrong if the relief he felt in his chest was any indication.

He leant down to kiss Jason because words were just too hard, but he still did manage a quiet, “I love you too. So much.”

Jason looked a little concerned as he set aside his book and cupped Dick’s face, wiping the tears away. “You're crying,” he frowned a little.

“I’m just happy.” He really didn’t think he could be happier, if he was honest.

Jason had tried to tell him several times, but it usually seemed to be when he felt like he should say it and it usually resulted him him either panicking or leaving or both, but either way Dick would generally go a few days without hearing from him. This seemed a little out of nowhere, but maybe that was why it had actually worked this time. Less pressure if he backed out.

Jason let go of his face to sit up a bit so he could pull him into his arms. He still looked kind of shaken, but he didn't look like he was going to bolt at least.

Dick buried his face in the crook of Jason’s neck, placing a kiss there. “I’m fine. I’m better than fine, actually. Don’t let the tears fool you.”

“I hope it lasts then. I don't know when I'm going to be able to do that again,” he admitted a little reluctantly, running his fingers through Dick’s hair.

Dick let out a small laugh, “It’ll last as long as you need it to. I’m pretty sure of that.”

That had Jason relaxing a little against him at least. “Thanks. Sorry it took so long.”

Dick lifted his head to smile at him. “Doesn’t matter how long it took or how long it takes again. You said it and I know it’s how you feel and that’s all I’ll ever need.”

Jason gave him a small smile back that was only a little strained. “I definitely feel that way. Just...expressing it isn't exactly one of my skills. I even tried practicing for a few weeks, but that didn't help much and mostly just felt stupid,” he told Dick a bit sheepishly.

And Dick kissed him then. “You’re sweet in the cutest way,” Dick chuckled.

“It's not cute,” Jason protested, and he might be one of the most dangerous people Dick knew, but the frown he aimed Dick’s way was still downright adorable.

“If you say so, but it’s still sweet.” Jason didn't look like he liked that description much either.

“Don’t worry” Dick laughed, pressing a kiss to Jason’s cheek, “I won’t tell anyone and ruin your tough guy image.”

“No one would believe you,” Jason answered immediately.

“Roy might. He knows you’re a softie deep down.”

“No one who still buys into that reputation would believe you,” he amended.

“Fine fine, but I still love your big softie heart.”

“I'm going back to my book if you're going to be a sap,” Jason informed him. Dick responded by repeatedly kissing his cheek with a gross little smacking sound while trying not to laugh, which Jason shoved him away for.

“Okay, nope, we’re done with that. I'm going to find out what happens next,” he said, picking up his book and settling back into his previous position with his head in Dick’s lap.

Dick repositioned for it to be a little more comfortable for both of them with a little laugh. “Alright dear.”

“You’re not a grandmother, don’t call me that,” Jason muttered, opening his book again. He was still smiling a little though.

“Love you too, babe.” Dick went back to running his fingers through Jason’s hair.


End file.
